@heartathome i was too busy with school, babysitting and working for food and clothes and shoes as a teen, to go through cute hippy phase as a teen
very little access to popular radio or tv... family not rich enough...
first piano lesson on 8 inch toy under a tree in front of an orphanage
it is why i am now getting triggered by too many current uber eats stories...as signs of recovery and everythings alright... oh thats Godspell...nothing too poppy... i try to be polite...
first heard beatles at 16 ... once ....not had as much free will choice as most people born in my year or my city
@PeppyPatti @Chasingsunsets @tyme @Jynx @Dimity @Shaz51 @AlwaysMyself @Faith-and-Hope @DownMoreThanUp
todays highlight is that the case at court was withdrawn. no legal representation, but conversaations with the prosecutor. it was a frivolous bureaucratic exercise, waste of taxpayers money and discriminatory against people with mental health and my family in particular.. I am still hyper and agitated and have been for weeks. thinking of going to police ombudsman about my trauma about it. i did talk about police brutality. they wouldnt let me read my brief statement, in which i mentioned Mental Health and Wellbeing Act 2022 and Sir Robert Peel's principles of policing and crime prevention and APPROPRIATE levels of force. The modern system is not better. Too many guns on too many hips.
we ended up having 3 people as support from the community, not formal supports. one a friend of mine. one a friend of my son and one.... weirdly ... woo woo... synchronicity... was a young lady... who actually worked at the court. I had only met her once when she had been to my house a few weeks ago and heard my son play piano.
but it is too many years of stress and harassment for me (8years) watching them target and profile my loved one.
i am afraid it might be too little too late for me. my system is wildly dysregulated... just too much childhood trauma, deaths, so when triggered it seems to be getting worse and longer to settle ... these days
only 3 1/2 hours sleep etc
HOWEVER I AM GRATEFUL for support in real life and online
i know all the cutesy tips, so pleez dont patronise me
but it takes weeks or months for me to get settled with this kind of sense of heightened alert
i have cancelled my commitments as much as i can to reduce stressors