Well looks like my relationship is over dealing with break up

Thanks @rav3n Yes I have done volunteering before and it was great to help others in the community and meet people as they are from different backgrounds the aged ,young mums ,ect and talk with them ,i havent really done dancing before but have done chior singing so I guess Im just thinking of prehaps finding one new social activity like dancing for getting out the house regualry might be worth a try maybe line dancing or something like that easy going country style dancing where I hopefully wouldnt need to much skill to see how that goes

Hi Friends @Shaz51 @rav3n @Splatface @RiverSeal Im Glad I have The Forums to deal with whatever unfolds ,as you know Ive been doing self care activities more or less to process emeotions and find a way to move on, things are getting on again off again vibes ,I was feeling rather upset yesterday missing him and I was toying with the idea of sending one last email to kind of finalise things meanwhile last night I out of the blue received multiple calls and messages from him even though he was the one who ended things or so I thought ,I nearly jumped of the lounge chair when I realised who was trying to call ,I didnt answer any of the notifications and almost thought for a second that I somehow imagined the calls and messages anyway I still havnt read anything cause Im aprehensive ,scared to see what it says and also its while Im trying to just process and accept and move on so it was a surprise ,anyway I Then went to bed feeling oddly happy that he tried talking to me but I still am aprhensive to read anything if that makes sense ,it feels so on again off again on his part and I beleive he blames me for always being the indecisive one ,I thought he ended things only for him to be indecisive and reachout to me again and I dont know why but I kind of wanna put off reading it even though it oddly made me happy my brains saying no my hearts saying awe maybe got vaildation for my feelings my heart and head are trying to ballance out but now I guess I need to work out What I choose to do What I feel I want to do thats best for me this back and forth is so silly like Im possibly flattered but should I even keep talking to them at this point maybe let him lose me use my boundaries and say a firm no ?

Hey @LostAngel, thanks for the update and sharing your experiences with the community!

It sounds like there is a lot of emotion coming from his side and from my experience that is normal when relationships end. In that a void is created and we seek to fill that with what is familiar. It doesn't detract form previous actions and behaviours in my mind and we are responsible for everything we do.

Setting bourdaries can be a good way for removing the emotions from decisions you may make and give you the space to consider your options in your own time. As opposed to being reactive and responding with emotions. You know yourself best and what is the right decision for you so lean into your strengths through this time.

Take care

RiverSeal

Thanks @RiverSeal appreciate that I think its one of those things where both people know its not gonna work cause of circumtances outside of control its just theres been a messy back and forth going on cause neither is suposedly fully letting go I mean Ive been trying to let him go to ,last night I made the mistake of reaching back to to him we talked again but both realised its just always gonna be the same issues on repeat he kind of suggested we should maybe break up I dont know its like back and forth we go if one atrts up talking to the other again but yes boundaries the good thing is I was able to mostly speak with a clear head without emoions getting in the way but talking to him brought some of those feelings back but anyway I think we both said our peace he said he respects my decisopn not to travel overseas and that hes not gonna force me to do something I decide not to do but still he called me pet names , I also was logical at first but the feelings brought back made me a bit I dont know sappy or whatever too , anyway thinking about boundaries today I may need to just stop talking and hopefully we both just stop talking cause its so silly this ongoing thing both need to move on somehow and meet other people mind you I wont forget him but Im still trying to work out what the lesson is in all this ,and the what ifs theres a slight chance may of worked out but it seems borderline crazy to think it would of worked out maybe where both equally too hopelessly romantic and that causes the indecision on both ends anyway again Ill have to resist the urge to call or message jts as much as he will have to resist that too I just need to process and move on just nothing more could be done about the relationship and thats something that unfortunetly needs to be accepted maybe once thats accepted everyone will stop this back and forth and find a way to move on, sometimes no matter how good two people could almost be for eachother reallife doesnt allow it for whatever reason ,anyway Ive been Wtaching movies,listening to mindfullness music ,writting out things ,processing ,tryng to focus on my current goals