Well looks like my relationship is over dealing with break up

Hey @LostAngel, thanks for the update and sharing your experiences with the communtiy!

Sorry to hear that you are going through a breakup and I can relate as have my fair share too. It's a challenging time but you are doing really well to talk about it and you sound like you have some coping techniques. In my own experiences things seem to evolve and emotions settle over time and that's different for everyone.

Staying connected as you are here on the Forums is a great way to work through the challenges with support. I'm sure the community will have some insights to share with you too!

Take care

RiverSeal

Sending you lots of hugs and sitting with you my friend 🧡 @LostAngel

Thanks @RiverSeal Im Glad To Have This Support , @Shaz51 Thanks the Hugs Are Needed, @Splatface thanks for being able to understand but sorry for your situation aswell, yeah thats it the lack of closure its making me obsess, I keep trying drown out my thoughts with music preferably loud rap and hip hop music just to drown out my negativity,it does help from time to time but you know those feelings that feel like a tidal wave it just keeps washing back over ,like I can be ok for maybe an hour but then its back to obsessing evrery angle and bouts of crying ,I guess if I can One Positive from Today it would be as bad As Ive Felt I still showed up to a short course im doing in the food service industry that was a good distraction for at least a few hours,but I had to Put my Public Face on For That ,despite feeling to be honest depressed underneath ,gosh its exhausting ,yeah if only I had closure ,please dont ask about sleep theres barely been any I lay awake thinking ,For another form of self comfort even though its part of obsessing I find myself still trying to message him but more cause writting my feelings down there as the waves come it just makes the most sense at the momment ,last night Was Bad I listened to saved voice messages just to hear his voice, you know the nice voice early on in the relationship the one that sounded kind and loving , Im replaying things alot in my head things he used to say his old reasurances that he used to do ,it hurts alot

Hi just an update we did end up reconnecting however it seems things are nauturally fading away between us as hes been just as stubborn as I mind you its all because I wont take an action step of travelling to meet him in his country ,which I can not do purely because of safety concerns which is my boundary where as his boundry seemed to be that he quote thinks I didnt give him the same energy that he gave me ,it was very much a stale mate situation ,I wouldnt budge to travel and he wouldnt budge to understand safety,where as he seemed to always think I was the stubborn one who failed to understand the steps I would need to take to make the realtionship go forward ,despite him having some points that I get in terms of both people needing to take action ,I acnt be with someone who doesnt consider my personal safety to do so ,theres been frequent arguements over this same subject of me being the one to travel to meet him rather than him travel to meet me although yes visas are an issue he may have kept making this an excuse to push me outside my comfort zone to travel far from home ,if he was the right person he would have understood my safety concerns as part of meeting ,maybe Ive dodged something unsafe and Id much rather put safety ahead of romance than romance ahead of safety ,realisistically it doesnt work ,mind you there was a slim chance he was decent but as a woman theres no gaurenteed way of knowing for sure, though Im hurt I realise the best thing to do is let him go as he wants to be let go anyway or in his words he wants distance beetween us till I decide to go there cause in his mind Im the indecisive and energy draining one ,anyway Im letting him go ,safety has to come first is non negotiatialbe mind you Ive left communications open no blocking in case we may pick up where we left off one day if he where actually in my country rather than me in his country ,So its me letting things go but at the same time leaving it open for future friendship or however if anything was to eventuate again but my safety is my boundary ,I for now need to focus on so much self care and reflection I think about lessons Ive learned along the way ,there where some positive elements which I will remember in an affectionate way but take the lessons with me too ,I guess who knows what the furture holds it could be right person wrong time or this case wrong place or wrong person wrong place,anyway thank you all for the support ,hes probly still a coward so to speak wanting to distance without telling me why which is uncaring but at least I know I have always been honest ,maybe the next one will be the one and maybe a lesson for me to search closer to home

tagging @Shaz51 @Splatface @RiverSeal for the update above from @LostAngel ^

@LostAngel proud of you for prioritising your safety first. sometimes personalities clash, it doesn't work out... and that's okay. i find that breakups in any relationship can teach us a lot about others and ourselves, and can help us get a step closer to finding what we need/want. it seems like this relationship taught you about how important home and closeness is for you, and i'm sure you'll carry this into future relationships too. take care and keep being gentle with yourself 💙

thanks @rav3n yes some lessons for sure , I do miss him ,I think it will be one of those things where Ill wonder what if? a bit of regret of what couldnt be or what could have been ? but yes maybe something closer to home is best I guess even another state is more reasonable but for now yes going gently while I figure these things out like I said Ill Leave things open on my end just in case the impossible became possible in future but yet again starting from scratch I guess Ill try to keep as busy as I can like dance groups or volunteering or something local to do while looking for work I dont know I guess theres a reason for these things thanks for all the support here Im glad to have friends who care thanks @rav3n @Splatface @Shaz51 @RiverSeal and sorry for any ongoing drama thanks for listening LostAngel

yep for sure, i think that's very natural to have those 'what if' questions pop up @LostAngel it's one of those things that heal and get easier with time. keeping busy with your friends and dance groups/volunteering sounds like a great idea. have you done dancing and volunteering before?

i'm glad you could come here and talk about it. we're always here to listen 💙

thank you for the update @LostAngel , sending you lots of hugs and sitting with you my friend 😍

keeping busy with your friends and dance groups/volunteering sounds like a great idea. have you done dancing and volunteering before?-- this sounds so good and we are here for you too xx

@rav3n , @RiverSeal