Therapies based on emotions and feelings

Hello @FringeDweller,

I think what you said about brainstorming some ideas is really helpful for your sessions with your Psychologist so you gain that insight into what works for you, you wrote that focusing on your emotions is something that might be worth trying?

As far as certain techniques, what kinds of emotions are you having troubles dealing with in regards to your anxiety and depression? For example, when you feel anxious do you not want to feel anxious or do you just want more control over your anxiety such as allowing yourself to feel anxious for a certain amount of time and then doing something that changes your focus, does talking help do that or doing an activity?

Lunar

Hi Lunar,

Thanks for your reply.

When I feel anxious I would love to have some option not to feel anxious anymore but when I have said this to others (various mental health workers, family, friends) they seem to take it as me being naive and wanting a magic pill/trick, so I've accepted this is not an option.

When I feel anxious I would love some control over the anxiety or control over how the anxiety affects my interactions with others. When I get anxious I get irritable/snappy/grumpy, I'm trying so hard to keep everything together in my head, look at things logically, rationally and evidence based, follow the guidelines set out in the CPT (or whatever therapy) handouts, but when someone else throws something my way I react in a negetive way. I snap at them without realising that my tone was that bad or that they were likely to interpret what I said in a different way to how I meant it. So now I'm feeling anxious plus angry and disappoitned at myself because, yet again, another therapy that I've been putting effort into doesn't seem to be working (the same old situations seem to be repeating with no different result no matter how much effort I put in) and I start wondering if it's me not trying hard enough, me not understanding this therapy that has been touted as being proven to be able to help.

I've tried distracting myself, changing focus, mindfulness, grounding, etc the emotions still sit there bubbling under the surface or it feels like I'm just repressing them or bottling them up. What are we suppose to do with emotions especially things like frustration, disappointment, etc.?

Hi @FringeDweller

I think what you wrote was so interesting about how you feel anxious your secondary emotion is expressing irritability and grumpyness, both understandable when feeling anxious.

It's helpful to think of anxiety as a positive at times, it can motivate you to be aware and get things done but when it makes you react in a negative way you don't want to express that but you do possibly need to let that emotion out and deal with it in a helpful way. This could be done by acknowledging that you feel irritated and letting it out rather than repressing or avoiding it, are you able to express how you are feeling when those things arise? You could write in a journal, do some exercise, listen to some music, etc

I find that when I feel anxious it's generally because I am dreading something or worrying about something because of the past and it hasn't happened yet, I try to gound myself and let out the built up worry. So I will call a friend, write it down in my phone, listen to a song that has that emotion, it just really depends on wat available at the time.

There is no quick fix as humans are complex so it takes a combination of things and the anxiety won't just disappear it may just decrease for the time being...so it's important to change focus, do something nice for yourself or let it out if you can?

Lunar

Dear Fringe Dweller,

CBT an the like aret rational, structured therapies which work brilliantly in some situations. It sounds to me that your issues are with your feelings and emotions (and anxiety is an emotion). What you need to do is find a psychologist or counsellor who is willing to work through these aspects of your life. The psychologist is there for you, to help you in the way you need to be helped, not to impose some "Therapy" on you.

It sounds as if you might need to change your psychologist and start again. Don't look for any "therapy" or structure, just explain to the psychologist that you are having trouble with emotions and anxiety and you want to talk about these things to understand them better and hopefully receive advice on how to deal with things. I am seeing an excellent analyst - he doesnt use any particular therapy, he listens to my problems and talks them over with me.Sometimes he gives me ideas on how to deal with things which are troubling me.

Look for a psychologist who is willing to engage you in "talk therapy" and talk about your problems and anxiety rather than just fill out questionnaires and sheets.

Help is out there,

Ellu

Thanks @Ellu and @Former-Member

I think I do need to start looking for a new psych. My next appt isn't until early April, her earliest when I booked late February (yeah, that would be another reason to find a new psych) so for the time being I'll keep it but start looking for a new one.

So I've concocted this email to send off to start getting information.( I'll add in personal info, name, age etc and ask about fees/rebates). I'd much prefer to send off some emails, then do phonecalls.

I am looking for a new psychologist. I'm looking for someone who I can build a longterm relationship with, I have dysthymia/persistent depressive disorder and anxiety (Generalised/Social, first panic attack at 12years old) and currently finding I have issues with feelings and emotions as opposed to thoughts. I have previously tried CBT, CPT, ACT, etc and I don't find these structured therapies to be beneficial, I'm looking for someone who engages in more ongoing 'talk' therapy. I feel I need fortnightly appointments, Do you have someone that may fit with me and has space in their schedule? I don't mind if they are Female or Male provided they are feminist.

Does it seem clear? Is there anything else I may need to add?

Is this worth me doing? I know it's probably going to be a receptionist/admin person reading it, and, in my experience, they seem to think any of their psychs can deal with depression/anxiety and don't really know what their therapist are like/their approaches. Is their any way around this, anyway of getting some idea of the psych without having an appt?