Ask Anything Monday!

Good Query,

I have been a little bit off with the fairies for the last couple of weeks, and it is due to a change up of sorts with medication.

in the past i have tried multiple combinations of meds, be it anti psych, mood stabilisers, anti depressants, from all the different branches of them ssri's, etc etc.

the recent meds i started, were slowly ti-trated up, not too sure how to spell it, but they increase the dose each week over about four weeks, to jump on top of the symptoms rather quickly.

The main thing i notice with starting meds, changing meds stopping meds, is side effects, they are usually the first indicator i get, and it could be bombing out when taking them, or feeling hazy, nausuea, after as long as 6 - 8 weeks these can continue, as they slowly disipate, i find that my thoughts become less jumbled, or i get less ups and downs, as it has been mentioned without knowing what you are being treated for does make it tricky to elaborate further.

Example: I have recently changed to a slow release version of the anti-psych to see if that will help me not be so drowsy, so far i have been bombing out in the afternoons..... but i believe it is only a side effect, and i will over a few more weeks adjust to it. I know it is working tho, because i don't get any severe episodes of psychosis. Mood stabiliser has been increased and split to taking it twice a day, again waiting for body to adjust, and anti -depressant is at max dosage, so no change.

I know mood stabiliser is working because my mood is alot more balanced, feels more like i should be normally, so to speak, anti- depressant, is finally starting to work, as i don't get stuck in a dark place anymore, but it does take time, to get balance right and dose right, as everyone is different.

hope this helps, along with everyone else's input

and again good question

My problem is that I don't know how I'm supposed to know when the medication starts working? What does it feel like?

And is it possible that I won't really notice it, like if it was gradual?

I'm just worried that I won't be able to see that one is working and that I'll just keep trying new meds forever...

Hello,

Great question as has already been said.

I guess the main thing you take meds for is to feel better and get rid of symptoms.

From my experience there is a whole lot of factors that come into play when getting well, recovering and overcoming the catastophe of mental illness. Medication is one of them.

Medication for me, nulled the 'hot brain' - I mean it slowed everything down and allowed me some respite from a very fast and deluded mind. It still does slow things down a lot for me and I am currently wondering whether I am on too much, but I can't go off it, according to my support network I am a different person on it.

I reckon I am slower and far more lethargic, I want to be fit like I was and I want to have creative flow like I used to. Which I believe I CAN still do, it's just overcoming a sedation that seems to be relentless. Given, I work and can ignore the tiredness at work, so why can't I get off my butt and do a bit more exercise in the morning? Dunno the answer to that one yet. I have a feeling I am going to get there though.

Another thing is, I still got symptoms on the medication sometimes. It is only since I have stopped drinking alcohol that I feel completely recovered from the paranoia, some moods and delusional thinking.

So yeah, a combination of a lot of things. To not "keep trying new meds forever" I guess you have to a bit of the hard yards yourself - questioning delusions, keeping appointments with your docs/psychs, staying in a routine or making plans so you don't sleep all the time, exercise, build and nourish relationships and the 'other stuff' that keeps you well.

I was prescribed all kinds of things over the years, but that was when I was still in denial I had an illness. So I went off them and got ill again. So they do have an important role to play.

After hitting rock-bottom and my strange behaviour cost me my job, I found one which I read didn't put on weight and so I decided to work with the doctors and take it. Over the three years I have stayed on just one anti-psychotic which seems to have worked. But I have had to undo lots of beliefs I built up over 9 - 10 years in my brain that I didn't tell anyone, I had to aplogise, I had to go red a million times when I thought about some of the things I did, I had to feel the rush of panic when I thought about actually having a mental illness, I had to go through anxiety and depression, I had get myself up and go to stack boxes to restore my dignity, I had to make myself plan things to do so I wouldn't lie in bed staring at the ceiling all day and I had to do things with people who love me so I could stay connected.

I've still got heaps to go: "All I want to do is hide" said someone on AAM a couple of weeks ago. I feel it, i felt it and I believe it. But I can't and shouldn't.

Well, I am getting better and better everyday.

And that's a part of my medication.

'Everyday in every way things are getting better and better'.

Good luck!

Hi everyone,

Here's this week's question:

How do you let go of a childhood friend? We've been 'best' friends since we were 5 years old (we're both now 34 now). We were once unseperable, and I always thought she was my soul buddy. But we have our own problems. I suffer from anxiety/depression and have had drug and alcohol problems, and she has bipolar and I think she is using some pretty heavy drugs. Since I started doing work on myself its become even more and more clear that our relationship is really toxic. I love her, and I feel like I should stick around because she is going through tough times, but at the same time she is just downright cruel. She says horrible things, puts me down by picking my appearance, and pretty much only contacts me if she wants money. It never use to be this way or maybe I just wasn't aware. I feel guilty about putting up boundaries when she is going through a rough time (she has just lost her mother), but I also need to care for me. Any ideas on how I can deal with this guilt, or be able to care for me, while also caring for if that is possible?

ASK ANYTHING MONDAY

Here's this week's question:

I'm so embarassed and ashamed of my diagnosis (bipolar II) that many of my friends don't know. I know this probably isolates me even more but I fear that if I do tell my friends then they'll just avoid me. I don't want to burden anyone, and I don't think many people would want to spend time with someone they think is crazy. I hate carrying this stigma. Many people would think that I'm ok, but I'm really struggling to cope. In between counselling session I feel like I am barely holding on. I'm not suicidal but I feel like my life is wasting away. I need advice about what I can do to get through between counselling session. And does anyone have any experience with telling their friends about their diagnosis?

This is a great question and i'm glad its been asked. I can relate to it a lot. Until this year i've worked so hard to hold everything in. To make sure that absolutely noone could guess the pain that i live in and the blackness of the depressions that I battle or the fears and anxieties that are there with each breath. I didnt tell anyone, i kept all the secrets inside myself. I guess my situations have possibly been a bit different as i have ptsd, depression/anxiety. And there was domestic violence during my marriage which was also very isolating. However even two years on from getting away from tht marriage i am still isolated. I find it extremely hard to trust the people around me with the details of my life. My psychologist says that trust is something you learn through enough repeated experiences of safety that you can predict that safety to continue in the future. So if you have a friend who you can think back over that you can trust maybe this would help you? I didnt learn how to instictively trust in my childhood and its something that now i am having to learn to do consciously i guess. I can only hope that some of that makes a little bit of sense...

I can also relate to the feeling of not knowing how to get through to the next counselling session. I find it really hard to speak outloud... about anything at times... except with my kids, I can be me with my kids. So I generally email my psychologist about things that are bothering me, things im having a hard time with or feelings that im recognising and experiencing etc. She will get back to me by email if i am really distressed id guess is the word or we'll use those emails in our next session as starting points. I guess it was probably only a year after i started seeing her that i finally let her in on some of the bad secrets that i'd been keeping a long long time and then only this year that i finally let go of the last. Its been a hard year. I dont know if you would be able to email your counsellor but maybe you could write things down somewhere to take with you. For me, i find that if i at least write it down i can tell myself, now that i've sent it, its gone, it'll be dealt with later or soemthing like that. And sometiems it helps to get some distance from it so its not quite so overwhelming (sometimes at least.)

Experience in telling my friends... Well my experience this year was kind of forced. I got to the point where i did something to end my life and it didnt work. I did end up sick, though i tried to hide that for a few days even. I ended up having to go into my boss's (and friend) office and admit to what i was going thorugh and that there was no way i could or should be working right then. It was horrible but it has been a relief in a way that she knows that i'm not 'perfect' and that even though i'm not at work she's still there and treats me the same (but also wants to support me!). I have one other friend who has been more aware of my MI (probably mre aware than I am at times) due to our closeness. So I dont know if any of that helps, or makes sense, but thankyou for your question, wishing you strength and walking beside you on this bumpy and oft lonely path (less lonely here though!)

LJ

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@CherryBomb wrote:

ASK ANYTHING MONDAY

Here's this week's question:

I'm so embarassed and ashamed of my diagnosis (bipolar II) that many of my friends don't know. I know this probably isolates me even more but I fear that if I do tell my friends then they'll just avoid me. I don't want to burden anyone, and I don't think many people would want to spend time with someone they think is crazy. I hate carrying this stigma. Many people would think that I'm ok, but I'm really struggling to cope. In between counselling session I feel like I am barely holding on. I'm not suicidal but I feel like my life is wasting away. I need advice about what I can do to get through between counselling session. And does anyone have any experience with telling their friends about their diagnosis?

---

Hello,

I have some experience with telling my friends about my diagnosis of schizophrenia - to be honest they weren't suprised! I told one friend over email and a couple of them over the phone. It had been building up over many years for me - so the original hospitalisation news was the worst to get through. I felt scared of what everyone thought of me and it added to the strangeness I felt generally. It was really confronting for some of them, and I relied on them as I was living away from home going to university.

The support they showed though, was unbelievable. True friends come through!

And yours will too. You don't have to yell it out over facebook - but you can do that it if you wish. One of my friends did and it was amazing and opened up lots of online public conversation that, in turn, I think destigmatised her illness.

Nice conversations I find are the way to go. Then you can answer questions your friends have and tell them you're ok, or open up the conversation to what you're going through. You also open up a whole new world of being able to share the experience.

I reckon everyone has a friend with a mental illness. Or at least a friend of a friend.

Lastnight on Facebook there was a picture I liked, but I can't find it to put on here. I found a similar one, but I don' think it is as gentle. It has the right idea though.

Good luck!

I have a diagnosis of bipolar too, i originally had it thrust upon me over 7 years ago, when i had quite a breakdown, all my friends got told was that i was sick, i didn't go into detail about what was going on or how i was sick, eventually i seemed to be "normal" per say.

This most recent, episode i have been through, which happened quite a few months ago, i wanted to let my friends know what was going on what i had been through etc etc, as to ensure they understood things that had been going on in my life, i broached it with inderviduals when i felt comfortable explaining it to them.

The ones who understood were like, ok that makes sense as to why when we party you party hard, because when i would get manic we would party. they also understood the depressed and going ages at times without seeing them. finding the right time i found was the hard art but i started with my closest friend first and eased into it, got talking about seeing something on t.v regarding it, and going on from that, as it turned out i found out from starting the discussion for me, it turns out one of my friends is having depression and anxiety issues, so it gave s both a chance to talk

hope this helps

It's that time of week again -

ASK ANYTHING MONDAY!

In the past I’ve had ‘mild’ mental health issues which mostly relate to a see-saw between depression & anxiety.

Lately I have been struggling with work. Someimes I can go a month or two without missing a day, but then I hit a rut, where I do not want to work. It is like there is a struggle within my mind to do what I should, but then I ending up doing the wrong thing, i.e. not going to work.

My motivation is hit or miss depending on the day. Outside of work, my life is fine, nothing to complain about. Good friends, family etc…. I’m not sure if I’m lazy or if this is part of my ‘mental illness’ and how to deal with it.

If you have any advice or feedback for this member, please feel free to hit 'reply'. Show this member some

I'm afraid I don't have any real feedback at all. I certainly get days when I really, REALLY don't want to have to get out of bed to go to work. I'm sure we all do, but I'm usually fine once I get there. For me it's about making that BIG effort to run through the work day routine starting with my feet hitting the floor.

After 45 odd years with my nose pretty much to the grind-stone in order to keep feeling positive about myself as well as secure a small nest egg, I'm almost over work. I've just spent over a week off with a wrecked shoulder (tripped and hurt it badly on a camping trip) I'm really tossing the idea up of giving work away all together, however I don't have anybody at present. No support at all. My two boys have grown and flown the coup years ago, so for me, giving up work right now could be the end of me. A steep down hill run into a meaningless lifestyle and depression.

I also suffer social and general anxiety, but it's reasonable well controlled using drugs at present.

Kind regards,

Ellie.