Ask Anything Monday!

Happy Monday everyone!

Thanks to @Shaz51 & @BlueBay for your responses to the previous question.

This week's question is:

I feel guilty about everything. I turn on the news - I feel guilty that I have better circumstances than some poor person who was assaulted, my friend gets sick, I feel guilty that I'm not always there for them, someone pulls out in front of me in their car, and even know I know it's their fault, I find myself wanting to apologise!

Does anyone else feel a constant feeling of guilt and like they don't deserve the things they have in life?

Hi everyone, thought I'd try and drum up a bit of discussion around this question - it's an interesting one! There's been a bit of talk about guilt today on a couple threads. Does anyone have any thoughts to contribute?? @Shaz51, @BlueBay, @utopia, @Mazarita, @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @Appleblossom

Thank you @Former-Member and @NikNik xx

Hello and welcome to the forum

it is an interesting question and Yes I do feel guilt in lots of situations

Yes "admission of guilt" was big in my R.C. programming. It has been hard work to reduce it from crippling levels .. to just saying sorry. Once I realised the only thing I had done all week was meekly apologise to everyone .. and I actually had not said anything else. I tried to actively turn that around .. add a bit more assertiveness with the apologies. Does that I mean I am passive aggressive .. I dont know .. I try and be up front .. rather than deny issues .. can only keep trying .. dont really have an acceptable "out" clause in my life .. had to be stoic for a long time ... but then seeing versions of myself in sitcoms .. I can laugh at it a bit .. but only with enough distance .. from pain.

Yes @Former-Member

"admission of guilt" is feeling guilt that I should do more for my mum and mother in law

I should do more to help my hubby who has Mi

Hey @Former-Member what happened to our discussion??

"Does anyone else feel a constant feeling of guilt and like they don't deserve the things they have in life?"

I wouldn't say a constant feeling of guilt .... although guilt is the most immediate or obvious response in some situations ... but for what I have in life ?? I think, only if I catch myself not being appreciative of what I have and how we live .....

Guilt, to me, is a form of pain, and pain is usually there to tell us something ..... for instance if we have overdone something physical then pain is telling us to slow down.

Guilt can be telling us that we could be doing more to help someone, or to support something, or to appreciate something ....

Perhaps the opposite of guilt is compassion .... and that is far more purposeful to my mind. Compassion is often an involuntary response, but acts of compassion are a deliberate connectivity, and I like that ....its contributing to the fabric of society,

Yes! A lot of guilt over a long time here too. For example, I had long periods in my younger days of feeling terribly guilty about my relative good fortune to be born into an affluent country and to have things better than other people in the world. This is despite the fact I've always been on the poor end of this society since birth. But I've been painfully aware for a long time that the poorest of us in this society are still in the top 13% or so of the world's wealth. At one level, these things are valid observations of the social world. The inequality in the world is very troubling and is a real moral question. But being eaten by guilt over it doesn't help anyone and actually damages ourselves.

Compassion is a wonderful thing but it can go too far and swamp us so much that we lose ourselves in the process. We were born into this world, have a right to be here and we don't need to apologise to ourselves or anyone else about taking care of our own wellbeing. I guess, as with many things, it's finding a balance of compassion and self-care that seems to be the key. In our compassion, I think we need to remember too to have compassion for ourselves.