FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

losing hope rapidly..

LilomoCasual Contributor

losing hope rapidly..

(just like to state im new here and this is my first post)

i dont really know how i should start this off, but i guess just jup right into it. i suffer from BPD im 28yo male and ive been dealing with BPD since i was about 18 most of my life has just been a crazy rollercoaster without much calm and peace. only once in my life have i had what seemed to be a normal life working as admin and enjoyed the work as well, but it all fell apart about 2 years after i got the job due to extreme depression, that was almost 4 years ago now and i feel like ive not recovered from that depression it has only gotten wrose as time goes by.

so now comes to where i am at right now, feeling so dead inside i spent most of my time just wasting the hours in a day for the sake of living another day but i do not feel like i have anything to live for i am just doing it out of duty to my mother, but all i really want right now is just for everything to stop, stop feelings what i feel, just stop liviing this life, i feel like i lost all hope in ever managing this condition and its making me qestion how much longer am i going to keep up this mindless day to day living when the option for it to end sounds like a peaceful end to all this suffering.

i am unsure as to why i wanted to post this maybe just to say it to someone who may read it maybe so my thoughts can be heard by someone i dont know ..

i dont know where to go from here.

lilomo.

5 replies

1 - 5 of 5
1

In response to: losing hope rapidly..

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: losing hope rapidly..

hello @Lilomo

I am pretty sure there are many reading the forum who could relate to your post. It was "an experience" for me to just start somewhere .. saying .. how it is...

I know what a rollercoaster of a life can feel like.

I find it interesting that the period you reflect uppon that was best for you was when you were working.

I too have many positive work experiences .. and am dumbfounded that some people dont realise how much that means ...

Take care Apple

In response to: losing hope rapidly..

Unknown userMember

Re: losing hope rapidly..

Lilomo
Can fully understand.We write here because we all share similar experiences due to the consequences of our mental disorders.I have similarities,left full time work 5 years ago due to extreme tiredness, intolerance to workplaces bullying,sadness,didn't know it would be the beginning of the end of my workplace life,which then I have stuffed up my life completely.I feel the same way,hard to get out of bed,not the same person you once were.With the bipolar,do you think the medication is right?,and have you got a good professional or like me and after so long feel it's no good?.I have no answers, as I understand the "dead"feelings,it does take you to a dark place.
I have always had the same illusion for years of seeing me in a big hole trying to hang onto the edge ...I can't get out.
You are only going,can you talk to your mum?I am nearly 45,never had kids,but if I was yours,I would have to think you are going through this.I was one who never missed a day's work,work defined me,my work ethic I took pride in.The loss of it was a huge adjustment,and getting it back seems impossible and hopeless.
I heard you.

In response to: Re: losing hope rapidly..

MazaritaSenior Contributor

Re: losing hope rapidly..

Hi @Lilomo, welcome. I'm 54, have had mental health problems with bipolar all my life, especially the depression end of the spectrum. I think you might mean that you have borderline, not bipolar, but I think the effects are similar in some ways. My depression was at its worst at your age, when I contemplated ending it. Now I'm glad I didn't do it . Although my life is not perfect and I still struggle, it's much better now than when I was 28. I could even say I like life. I've made many unsuccessful attempts at work, that were usually short-lived. But the thing that has carried me through that is a non-paying creative interest. I wonder what are, or have been, your interests. It may be a distorted perception brought on by your current depression that you are completely unable to work in the future. But even if that is the case, I believe there are ways to find meaning in life without employment. I too wonder if you are receiving any treatment from a doctor, psychiatrist or psychologist. If not, these may be helpful to think about. Know that there are people here listening and caring.

In response to: losing hope rapidly..

LilomoCasual Contributor

Re: losing hope rapidly..

Thank you for your responses.

No I am currently not receiving any medical health meds or phycologist.
And yes I meant borderline not bipolar sorry for the confusion.

In response to: Re: losing hope rapidly..

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: losing hope rapidly..

@LilomoYou would be entitled to some counselling surely??

BPD usually means Borderline

and BP .. Bipolar ... but thats just in labels ..

but yes there can be some overlap in experiences

1 - 5 of 5
1

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

SANE is a public company limited by guarantee and registered tax-exempt charity with DGR (Deductible Gift Recipient) status.

Charity ABN 92 006 533 606. Donations of $2 or more are tax deductible. SANE, PO Box 1226, Carlton VIC 3053.