Trust issues due to CPTSD

@AlwaysMyself

thank you so much for your kindness

My bestie knows that I struggle to open up sometimes and she accepts it.

I feel urge to trust someone because my psychiatrist ended the appointment with the rush saying “please call your friends” when I am in crisis.
It sounded so easy when she said it and my guilt increased after that.

I know my psychiatrist is a human as well so she is not perfect but trying to help me. And I do feel she is genuinely wanting me to get better.

I should try to be gentle on me and accepting myself.

I'm glad your bestie is aware and accept it @Bear00 😊. That is valuable.

I get where the psych is coming from in terms of having a plan for when in crisis (or when you can see yourself heading towards it). I always have 2 minds about reaching out to friends when I'm in crisis (and crisis can mean different things to different people too).

On one hand, it can be very helpful to have someone you love show care and support and be able to talk to them - for me often this connection is much more meaningful than a paid support worker or a phone to a crisis line where I dont know the person.

On the other hand, not all friends are willing to take on that stress, and not all friends are able to cope with it either (even if they would like to) - and it also depends how frequently you're in crisis. If im in crisis weekly, I dont want to put all that on a single friend! If its once or twice a year, not as much of a problem.

Having said that, "call a friend" doesnt have to mean "tell them what you are thinking/feeling". It can be "call a friend and ask them to chat to you, or come over, or take you out, as a temporary distraction to get you into a better mood". And i think that is easier and less threatening. It also allows opportunity for the friend to *choose* whether they want to offer for you to tell them what's going on or not. (Although I recently learnt from a friend that they want to know and support, but they find it hard to ask questions - even "are you ok? What's made you upset?" So the lack of asking may not indicate they arent willing to, it could be their own barrier to knowing what to say/ask.)

What are your current strategies when you are in crisis?

Does the idea of a crisis phone line with a stranger seem easier or harder than calling a friend for distraction?

@AlwaysMyself

Thank you for sharing your story and good ideas.

I could probably start calling a friend to distract myself when I’m in crisis next time.

My current strategies when I’m in crisis are TIPP skills (putting an ice pack on the temples and holding my breath as much as I can to activate my parasympathetic nervous system), PRN meds, and sometimes emailing to my psych.

I think for me calling a crisis line feel easier. But I have some experiences of feeling worse after that. So maybe I could try to call friends even just for distraction.

You're not alone in sometimes feeling worse after a crisis line @Bear00 . I mentioned it in passing here once too, and I think about 3 other people who read it also chimed in they sometimes have felt the same way after too.

And of course people on the forums are also able to help you with processing thoughts and/or friendly social distractions too. 😊

If/when you do contact your bestie when in need, I really hope it goes well and can work towards building trust with that person. 🥰

Thank you so much @AlwaysMyself !!

The circuit breaker @Bear00 has been quite different for me in the past.

It can be being around kids - kids tend to get me out of the negative loop (e.g. my nieces and nephew)

It has also been an admission in PARCs (prevention and recovery centres)

It may be a inpatient admission (not preferred)

It can be a mindset circuit breaker by making myself get out of that frame of mind.

It can be going out to the beach or going for a walk.

What do you think can be a circuit breaker for you?

Thank you for sharing @tyme

I feel like circuit breaker could be…

- talking my friends and have a good laugh

- sitting along the river and meditating

- spending time with my dog (but it’s been hard because she is in my home town)

- journaling (sometimes works but sometimes get stuck in my thoughts)