Ghosting & extreme trauma

I’m not even sure how to explain this. Basically I have a long history of trauma - I’ve never had anyone in my corner. Parentification from a young age, groomed, toxic abusive relationships, the works. I closed myself off to relationships until I met someone in January this year that changed my whole perspective on love. For the first time in my entire life (30 years old) I felt seen, heard, respected & cared for. He was the sweetest most gentle man I’d ever encountered, not a single red flag. & then a week ago he just vanished. Ghosted after 8 months of tender moments and talks of the future. No argument, no goodbye, no nothing. I should clarify that he’s very much ok, so nothing actually happened to him. I guess he just didn’t care as much as he portrayed he did. And I’m gutted. Back to an extremely low place I fought so hard to get out of. And completely isolated, I only have one real friend & she’s emotionally unavailable. I just don’t know how to move forward. I feel so isolated.