I've been MIA

Hi @MedicinalGypsy

Wow, it sounds as though you've had an incredibly hard 12 months. I'm glad that you've felt able to come back to the forums the share what you've been going through.

I'm hearing that managing your chronic health conditions, as well as your mental health has been difficult enough, without these other external events that have been upsetting to go through. It's completely understandable that you'd be feeling overwhelmed and that your emotions would be sitting quite close to the surface at the moment.

I hope that the forums can give you a bit of an outlet of these emotions and that reaching out here brings you some relief

Thank you for your kind words and support

Hi there,

I too am 55yo and have been through the lot.

Lost my first wife to cancer at 33yo leaving me with three children 4yo,3yo and 18 months old.

That was six years of destruction doing anything and everything to numb my brain.

I shared custody of my children with my parents essentially losing them.

I remarried and had two more children and five years ago lost my mother to a lung disease I never heard of, after she died, I was diagnosed with similar.

The result is a slow terrible death where breathing eventually stops.

I should have accepted my fate and died.

I have been diagnosed with all the letters in the alphabet, PTSD, Panic Disorder, MDD all I know is my only comforting though is death.

The medication I have to take both keeps me alive and threatens me with the possibility of getting cancer and degenerates my joints in particular my hips. Now I am looking at a hip replacement.

I have done everything for everyone else, my choice would be to just die.

But in the back of my head something tells me I am here for a reason.

I don't believe in CBT or anti-depressants that make me feel worse.

I get so angry when in public at the lack of consideration people can give and act accordingly.

I don't tend to leave the house, I don't socialise, I am not motivated to do anything.

There really is nothing out there, I have searched and been put in the too hard basket.

Even the CAT team cancelled three appointments with me.

Medicinal herbal medicine saved my life, gave my mind a break from all the negativity.

Hope it helps to know you are not alone.

Try and keep chugging along.

hey @MedicinalGypsy and welcome to the forums @Former-Member. it's clear that you've both been through so much, and i can see the strength in both of you. i'm glad you've reached out here, and i hope you can continue to lean on the community. 💙

a little forums tip: you can tag members using the @ symbol and typing out the username and selecting it. when it turns blue like this @Former-Member, it means the person has been tagged and will be notified of your response.

@Former-Member

Sending strength and healing energies to you 💛

I absolutely can relate total gaslighting from the medical system my experience i now see a holistic gp 8 weeks ago and a human biologists she's given me hope she said if the body can make it it can un make it, I take a range of plant medicine and supplements and medical cannabis. The holistic gp has a wellness centre also in the same building they are amazing and the biologists can be accessed via telephone and they ship Australia wide.

The symptoms can be certainly overwhelming and then add ignorance in society and the labelling is very systemic. I been only 8 weeks into total holistic support and the support love and kindness I've recently received for my symptoms are now targeting the what is the causicology and focus on rather than symptoms.

I wish you all the best