General chat

I feared both parents @Former-Member especially my father, but I guess I was codependent. I still fear my siblings.

I was triggered by a psychologist the first time I met with her. On the fourth visit she made some inexcusable and untrue remarks which floored me at the time. I mulled over them for a couple of days then decided I couldn't go back. That was last year. I think you've probably made the right decision. You've discussed it with her and she seems unable to change her approach.

I'm now waiting to hear back from my chosen POAs. The solicitor left it to me to get their signatures myself. I don't drive and I rarely see them. I think I'll have to chivvy them and arrange return taxis to get there and back... twice over. Once that's done I'll book my very overdue endoscopy.

I had a quiet day. I think that was my main aim. I didn't get everything done I'd hoped for but it kept the anxiety at bay for a.while.

I hope you enjoyed your day.

Hoping you're OK @Former-Member .

High winds tomorrow. Stay safe.

Going through rough patch @Dimity

Early yesterday afternoon got text message saying I’d get phone call shortly regarding guided recovery, I’m still waiting for phone call.

message from management this morning. Due to weather forecast everything cancelled and everyone advised to stay at home plus prepare for possible loss of power

one thing on top of another

Hope you hear soon re guided recovery @Former-Member .

Thanks for reminding me to charge my phone. I'm nervous of damage to our big tree.

Hope nothing else is going wrong for you.

I had a trying day yesterday.

My body and nervous system not back to its usual atm. Normal reactiions and feelings for me, goes back decades.

my phone had blocked number the person was phoning on regarding guided recovery. She left message on phone answering plus sent me email. Email sent as per info in her email. Auto reply received from sane, might not get reply for couple days. 6 weeks time I will be back in hospital, wondering if have done right thing.

winds picking up here with top of neighbours colourbond fence vibrating at times. Sun is out and is pleasant outside.

@Former-Member the wind is strong here and a rainband is on the way so I came straight back from physio rather than picking anything up in the big shopping centre.

Is there any particular reason you're second guessing the guided recovery? It seems a positive step to me. And you could always ask their advice re timing, whether to start support before the procedure or wait until afterwards.

I wonder if it's better to aim for a new normal, an acceptable way of being, rather than try to reclaim feelings of decades ago. I think that's what I hope for myself.

@Dimity I’m not “trying to reclaim feelings of decades ago”.

I have various auto reactions to different situations that originated decades ago. Auto reactions that, sometimes, have connection to my flashbacks. When I’m triggered my auto reactions kick in.

Be nice to have some knowledge on how to deal with them etc. last 2yrs with psychologist, tired of hearing that my reactions are understandable based on my past.

I’d like to be left alone for awhile

@Former-Member apologies, I misunderstood you I thought you said you last felt normal decades ago.

@Dimity there have been different times where response to things I’ve done and/or said have left me feeling I’m being told off and/or excluded. Responses that have hurt and left me feeling upset.

I wish you all the best with your piano playing, activities with the social group, your gardening, knitting (plus all other activities you are involved in and/or enjoy doing)..

Hello @Former-Member .

I'm so sorry I seem to have habitually upset you. I've always tried to meet you where you're at, and never intentionally criticised or excluded you. I tried sometimes to make positive suggestions. I've respected your wishes when you've asked me not to communicate with you in your gardens thread and now in this thread, although my preference would have been to try to support you in your feelings of rejection and abandonment and reassure you that you're heard and respected.

I'm sad you won't be continuing your schema work with your psychologist. I've just been asked to complete a schema assessment myself. Perhaps it will help inform me of how and why I've antagonised both you and a close relative, despite my efforts. I know for myself how the need for self-preservation can morph to resentment and anger..

I wish you well with your chronic pain journey, as difficult and challenging as it is, and I hope and trust Sonny and Luna continue to bring you joy.

@moderator please check I'm not infringing community guidelines, and reach out to @Former-Member in her distress.

@tyme