Exam fail

Hi there @Messylife ,

Firstly, I wanted to say that it's great to see you. It's been a while.

I'm sorry to hear that the exam was so difficult. It sounds like it was a tough subject.

Please know you are not alone in thi space. Have a failed a unit? YES (not even an exam - an entire unit!)

We're here if you need a chat.

In the past, I remember having one particular statistics unit I really struggled in. I ended up getting support from the uni and additional support from co-ordinators. Is this something you can do?

Hi @Messylife , im sorry to hear you're feeling pretty bad post-exam. 😞 exams can be soo stressful, and it is crazy how they all happen at the same time as other subjects too!

Im happy to chat to you, but want to first make sure I know what type of support/chat you'd like. 🙂

Do you want a distraction?

Do you want 'processing feelings' ?

Do you want reflecting on what could be done differently next time to reduce the cramming/timing issue a little?

Something else??

Thank you @tyme. Just having someone say that I'm not alone helps. I feel my whole learning life has been a solo trip.

• I study with ADHD and hormone hell. Also juggle a lot of issues so easily get depressed when things go wrong.

My feelings snowball. How do I stop that?

Hey @Messylife .,

I tend to agree somewhat that learning life can be one solo trip. I feel that there are a lot of situations where we can have people try to help us, save us, pull/push us...but ultimately, we, ourselves do the heavy lifeting - when we are ready.

I can relate to the ADHD/hormone challenges. Only last week, I felt I was so activated and everywhere! I just couldn't get anything done which then causes me to feel like a failure.

What I find helpful is that I need to STOP. Take a step back. Take a break, then start by writing a list of what I have to do.

Then, I systematically work through the list.

That's the most helpful way for me to manage, otherwise I really stuggle.

As for your studies, are you interested in the course? Or is there a way you have pivot and still get credit for what you have already done?

For example, I started a medicine/law degree, then i pivoted to chiropractics, then to early childhood education, then education, then psychology, then inclusion.....

Geezzz... I sorta dipped my toe in everything until I found what I really wanted to do.

Thank you @AlwaysMyself.

After a stomp around the block and a few more tears, I ate 2 bowls of spag bol with extra cheese.

I had a chat with my unit coordinator after I was only one to show up to my online tute tonight!

I feel a bit better as already I am moving on. He will help with the next one and the next assignment . I only need to pass. The important thing is that I know how to learn. He will take my issues onboard for others next time. So maybe I help others.

My depression is bad this week. I feel pretty useless these days. Family, friends, study and financial issues. Not much joy.

Cramming seems to be the only way I can study as my time is always doing the course work and reading. There never seems enough time. I'm tired all the time.

Sometimes I just need a vent. I have nobody to vent to.

Hi @Messylife,

I know we haven't chatted before, but I thought I would stop by (say hi!) and let you know that you are more than welcome to vent to me whenever you need. Depression is hard, so slow steps. 🥰

This degree is a pivot. Yes! I am really passionate about it. I am super interested.

I am doing a course with lots of different streams to dip my toe in, including psychology. It makes it hard at times.

At the lowest part of my depression, probably post natal, I wanted to be a completely different person. I still feel I am not living my own life. I just keep swimming through muck.

I quit my job to try to shorten the muck and it is a financial nightmare. Nobody seems to respect my decision to study full time at my age, being a single mum, no Centrelink help (still bogged in paperwork there).

It feels like When I fail, I've made yet another bad choice. Is everything I do a bad choice?

Why am I so unhappy?

Why is my life so damn messy and difficult?

Why am I alone?

Oh @Messylife , it sounds like you are doing the very best you can. I can't say you have made any 'mistake'. We all have likfe experiences we can learn from. Rather, these are 'teaching moments'. I thrive on teaching moments. Whilst they may be hard, they are also doors of opportunity.

And yes, I acknolwedge that when you are a single mum, you have other challenges that you have to balance. Yet this doesn't make you a failure. Everyone is doing their best to survive.

It's important to do what works for you and your family.

We are here to walk alongside you on this journey.

It's good to hear you actually really enjoy your course. I hope your course co-ordinators find a way to guide you through.

Do you have much of the course left?

@Messylife spaghetti bol and extra cheese! 🥰😍 you have good taste!

Im really glad you got the opportunity to talk to your unit coordinator and they'll make an effort to help support you more through the unit, as well as being aware for other future students too. 😊 well done! That's very brave of you to open up and share what's happening - go you!!

I remember completely missing an exam worth 40% of the unit grade once. 😱 I was mortified. I spoke to the lecturer too (I had muddled my dates by 1 week due to other stressful events). Im pretty sure he may have given me a few additional %-points on the other assessments that hadn't finished being graded yet, because my overall unit score was 52% so I still passed 😅😅 despite 0/40% for the exam. 🥴 I laugh at it now, but I was a nervous wreck at the time!!

You are more than your financial situation, job, or study grades. You are a valuable person for who you are innately.

I know that doesnt make life any easier when bills need paying and uni subjects need passing. But they do not reflect your value as a human.

Having ADHD must make this 10000% harder. My husband has ADHD and I know he struggles with a number of the things like focusing to study, cramming before deadlines, and trying to absorb a lot of information at once. Oh, and applying for Centrelink/paperwork is the worst for him!! You are definitely not alone in that struggle.

I think you are really courageous to be going back to fulltime study later in life and as a single mum. That's not a bad thing at all! That's amazing! It sounds like a big challenge at the moment for you, but with the right support and determination my bet is you will absolutely get there! 🙂

Does the uni have any supports you can access that could help you even with something like applying for Centrelink? Or with some tips on studying with Adhd? (If they would be helpful, that is)

@AlwaysMyself Thankyou so much for your kind words.

Missing an exam is my nightmare...I am surprised it hasn't happened to me yet!

I do have some great helpers and a toolbox for study with my brain. I am leaning more everyday. It is a condition that I am sad wasn't picked up earlier. I could of got help.

Now I just continue to function the best I can and collapse in a heap every now and then. I may have burned a few relationships with my frustrations though, another just this week.

Deep breathing in order. 4 essays due next week. Omg help me Jesus!

@Tyme ....a list is in order!