AzuraNew Contributor
Why not try a simple intro?
There isn’t much I can really say that will make me remarkable. I’m bot
much different than the average person trying to make it through their twenties, whilst battling financial, mental, emotional, physical, familial and relationship difficulties like most of us. I come from a fairly emotionally deprived family with most, if not all members were slowly indoctrinated into the idea that showing any ounce of emotion beyond a smile or a couple of quick tears, was overly emotional and dramatic.
Then to the formative years, we all go through. When losing an important figure within the family, grief counselling turned into coaching. “Use this colour to show you emotion” “I wouldn’t cry over something like that” then with the addition of fat shaming, emotional abuse and playing the blame game until you concede. Plus, can’t forget that helping of academics and the subtle but very effective judgement at an average grade, how could one forget that!
Then, we reach the current stage of reaching adulthood and having no idea how to function normally. Entering or even recognising relationships, both platonic and romantic are almost invisible. The subtle comparisons to one another lives, the gapping distance between family members getting larger and larger by the year. The regulation of emotion is complex and constantly throwing through loops. But why complain? Those who make the strongest and hardest impacts are the ones too old to change, and the blame always settles to you. Always.
But it is okay. Why? Because I have three goals that have remained unchanged since I was 7 years old
1. To fall in love. How cliche? I know, but in this life we are gifted with films, shows, novels and music that depict that love exists over and over again. Why can’t that be something we all strive for?
2. To achieve my dream job. Not to be known by millions, but to have the work I do be seen, felt and appreciated by those who understand what it means to live, and love and feel.
3. and thirdly, to finally accept that I am more than what I have been expected to be. To achieve more, to feel more. I will not be defined by anyone but myself.
i promise you that.
and to anyone who made it this far,
I'm sorry for the ramblings, but I didn’t know who else would listen, well, read?
but i hope it comes true.
No.
i know it will come true.
Ciao for now
-A
