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Where do I start?

CatbirdNew Contributor18 July 2025, 9:59 pm AEST

Where do I start?

Hello there.
I’m not on social media typically and have never been on a forum, but felt like SANE could be a good place to start.
I have many factors going on related to my mental health, I’ve tried/am trying many treatments, and seen various Drs/specialists etc, but there is a subject I’m curious about but haven’t talked about much before. Hoping you can help.
My husband has lived with pretty intense OCD for most of his life. The last couple of years he’s tried medication and it’s SIGNIFICANTLY reduced symptoms which has been a huge game changer.
The trouble I’m finding is that after years of trying to make things how he needed them (like cleanliness and order) to feel at ease, I think I’ve become hyper vigilant and now I focus on these details myself! I want to chill and enjoy this new found more relaxed him, but I’m wound up in those specifics of domestic life, and can’t relax about them. And I have my own anxiety mixed up in it, my own history, my own thought patterns.
I love him so very dearly, but it’s been tough. I love me too, and I am conscious of the parts of me really struggling with this. Struggling to recover from these tough times.
So… that’s my opener! It feels quite vulnerable to do, and strange putting it out-there/here. Thanks in advance for any comforting replies.
Catbird 🐈🦉

2 replies

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In response to: Where do I start?

holdinghope5Senior Contributor19 July 2025, 6:19 am AEST

Re: Where do I start?

Good morning @Catbird

Thank you for sharing and welcome to the forums.

It takes a lot of strength to reach out, especiallly if it's your first time. We hear how much you love your husband, and that you are looking for ways to enjoy life without worrying about the nitty gritty.

I'm sure the community will be able to share their experiences so we look forward to hearing from them.

Feel free to introduce yourself here Welcome! Introduce yourself here 🙂

In response to: Re: Where do I start?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor19 July 2025, 9:37 am AEST

Re: Where do I start?

@Catbird Welcome to the forum. I am sure many people have experienced similar in their close relationships. Striving to reach others needs and expectations. It is good in the ways it makes us adaptive, but when we deny our own self, I guess we need to focus on affirming our self. Maybe ask yourself what you really need to do in that moment. Emotional contagion is common. I have fluid boundaries and learning about them…

re house cleaning, I keep to an approximately clean and tidy motto and like the homely feel over the real estate photo… style. Yet at times marks on the kitchen cupboard jump out at me, and I scurry into cleaning.

go gently on yourself.

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