Tarmac_6Senior Contributor
Managing boundaries and triggers with friends.
I’m not sure if this is something I have already made a post about before but I really feel like I’m having a hard time with it right now and would appreciate some advice. Just for some context: I started struggling with anxiety around age 14 and probably depression when I was about 16 and I’m now 20. My twin sister was hospitalised for anorexia when I was 15 but she was in a pretty bad state for quite a few years before that. She’s also had her own struggles with adhd and low moods (not really sure if it’s depression or not) and so a lot of my parents and my other sisters and just everyone’s attention was understandably put onto my sister. I’m not mad about this at all but it did put me in a position where I literally didn’t talk about any of those struggles to anyone for years and still don’t to my family. I really only talk to my therapist at the moment. We are working on opening up more in therapy but with my social anxiety it’s just a long process. Anyway the actual thing: I have a friend who I have recently become close to who has ocd and anxiety and it often I guess is something that affects her mood quite a lot. She always says that I am always attune to her needs and really help her when she need it but recently I’ve honestly been feeling really triggered being her emotional support person. It feels like my sister again and I feel like there’s no space for me. She’s even said before than when she’s upset she can’t handle other people’s issues but even if I’ve had a bad day I’ll find a way to make space for my friends. I guess sometimes I feel frustrated cause I know I deal with everything myself and I just get annoyed that other people don’t. I know that’s horrible of me and not healthy and maybe her problems are worse than mine but it’s how I feel. I have never expressed this frustration to her but I just don’t want it to boil over and I’m honestly sick of never feeling understood or seen. I know I need to make space for myself but sometimes I wish I had someone who could make space for me. Anyway I’m not really sure exactly what I’m asking for but any advice or tips would be appreciated. Sorry I know it’s a long one.
