Breaking Point

Hi Everyone,

I'm not okay, I'm just not.

Today I went to visit a close family member and the visit went well until I made a minor and mindless mistake.

The family member in question asked me to put a small bag of rubbish which contained dog poop into a public bin not far from their place.

I haven't slept well in the past week, I haven't been thinking straight and I've been more forgetful than usual, and I genuinely forgot the rubbish request so I stupidly put this bag of rubbish in one of the neighbour's bins in the unit complex as I was leaving.

They got very angry and sent a whole bunch of texts that I didn't see until checked my phone just before I got off the train near home.

I lost my cool and responded in a way that I'm not proud of - I could've and should've done better.

During the course of the argument via text this family member said the following.

🔴 They told me that I wasn't worthy of life or worthy of having anyone to like me.

🟠 They threatened to give my residential address to their neighbour if they were to get angry about the rubbish.

🟡 They threatened to hit if I'm ever in their sights and stated that they didn't care about the assault.

🟢 They kept going on about my medication supposedly not working because I forgot this request - My medication doesn't cure my condition, it just takes the edge of things and makes life easier.

🔵 They said a whole bunch of other vile things.

🟣 They blocked me on their phone and email as soon as I called them out on the threats of violence and to give out my address to a stranger by telling them that it's not okay, that I don't accept this kind of behaviour in any relationship in my life.

I also mentioned that I would report them to the Police if they followed through on their threat to give out my address to their neighbour who is a stranger to me - Obviously it goes without saying that I would also report any violence to the Police should that ever take place.

Before they blocked me, I told them I'll be needing some space from them for a while and I've blocked them on my phone but not my email at this stage - I will block them on my email if it becomes necessary to do so.

On a more positive note, this could be an opportunity for me to reassess the dynamics of this relationship, start implementing healthier boundaries and hopefully breaking this unhealthy pattern of enmeshment in each other's lives that I've wanted to break for a very long time.

I'm not okay but I will be tomorrow 🌻