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My Mum (carer) will not ask for support

My Mum (carer) will not ask for support

My Mum has been through a lot. Im not even sure where to start.

She is one of 5 siblings born in the 50's & 60's. 3 of her siblings (my 2 aunties and one uncle) have been diagnosed with mental illheath. Her other sibling lives interstate with his wife and children and has very little to do with the support of the other siblings. My mums mum is also still around but very aged and also needing some support now.

One of my aunties tragically passed away a couple of years ago of a heart attack. This was a very traumatic experience for my family, especially my Mum. It may not have been her schizo effective disorder that killed her directly, but after many years of struggling and feeling lost about how to help, my Mum blames herself for not managing her sisters health issues and in turn, sort of blames herself for her death.

Now my other aunty is going through a rough patch with her schizophrenia. Mum is doing her best to support her but it also causing her a great deal of distress.

My Mum has always taken on all the responsibility for her ill siblings. No one supports her. However, I believe she needs to explore support services. I have tried to raise this with her but she is resistant. I have pointed her to this service/organisation but I dont think she has the time or belief to explore options. Im at a loss.

2 replies

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In response to: My Mum (carer) will not ask for support

Re: My Mum (carer) will not ask for support

Welcome to the forums @Sille.

I'm sorry to hear how hard things have been for your mum, holding onto that blame must've been tough for her.

Self-care is really important, especially when we're pouring our energy and love into other people's cup - we need some of the love and energy poured back into us. Perhaps you could try encouraging her to take a few minutes out of each day to work on self-care?

We may not be able to provide other people the best care when we aren't taking care of ourselves. Perhaps encouraging her to reach out there as a means to help her support your aunt better might help? Places like Carer Gateway can be great as they offer a range of services.

We can't control other people's actions, we can just hope that they'll do what's best and encourage to seek support. I know that can be really hard, so I hope you're looking after yourself too. I can see you care about your mum heaps, she's lucky to have you look out for her. Sounds like you're someone she can lean on too.

In response to: Re: My Mum (carer) will not ask for support

Re: My Mum (carer) will not ask for support

🙂 thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words.

I will absolutely look into Carer Gateway. And I will continue to be there and have hope for my Mum and Aunty.

Thank you so much.
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