New here!

hey @Up_da_wahs welcome to the forums space!!

neurodivergent brains can quite different to neurotypical ones, but please know that 'difference' doesn't make either of them inferior. in fact, it sounds like both your mind probably complement each other! it's really clear that you care about your fiance and kids a lot, and it's lovely to see your eagerness in wanting to learn more and understand them better 💙

i'm don't have ADHD myself, but sometimes my anxious brain does tend overthink things and go beyond what's expected. i guess the anxiety can be a blessing and curse at times for me, it can either make me freeze from overwhelm or make me an extra considerate person!

we've got a lovely space for our ADHD folks here, and there are some resources in the first post that might provide you more understanding too: Wait what did I come into this thread for again? O... - SANE Forums

hope that helps get you started, and feel free to keep reaching out here!

I worked in opshops for a while. There is no need to sort, as they may decide to arrange by colour. @Up_da_wahs It sounds like she is under pressure and trying hard. The way your brain works, matters too, so I hope there is some give and take. It is needed in any relationship regardless of diagnoses. It also matters that you care enough to learn about it all. Usually 2 people with the same diagnosis will not be exactly the same, so there isn’t one size fits all. Humour can help, gently, when you are on the same page. However differences make up the spice of life, so I hope you find enough ways to resonate, and enjoy the space between the trees…

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. It's more I want to help release some of the stress from her but without having to ask her what can I do as this can open up another "tab" she has to worry about...I know I need to become more aware of what needs to be done but it's finding the things that she might think about doing and getting on to them before she even notices..I hope that makes sense, like a pro active approach rather than a reactive approach.

Hey @Up_da_wahs ,

Thanks for sharing. I totally agree with what you are saying in terms of using a proactive rather than reactive approach.

As they say, prevention is better than cure 🙂