Hearing voices and psychosis 🗯️

Hey Forums friends,

If you are like me and you have experienced hearing voices and maybe even had a psychotic episode, then this is a thread to share your experiences and have discussions!

I have shared some of my story and recovery journey here in responding to Members. My mental health experience is hearing voices and experiencing delusions. I have had many psychotic episodes and been on the mental health ward many times, diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2016 after 9 years of misdiagnosis (Borderline Personality Disorder with drug-induced psychosis), been on the DSP, and I am an NDIS participant. In 2017, I started studying at TAFE and I now have 6 qualifications in NDIS, Community Services, Alcohol and Other Drugs, Sexual Violence and Mental Health Peer Work. I work with people who experience complex mental health, AOD, and gender identity issues and use my lived experience to provide peer support.

Most of the challenges I have experienced happened over 9 years, from 2007 to 2016, when I started experiencing psychotic episodes and presenting to ED at least 9 times, resulting in 7 hospital mental health ward admissions. However, in late 2001, I was overseas and had a breakdown which led to AOD misuse, unstable housing and extremely heightened emotions for 1 year until I returned to Melbourne. On my return to Melbourne, I misused AOD, and even though I worked several jobs to get by, I was experiencing many other life challenges, anxiety, and depression. As a result of my first psychotic episode in 2007, I lost my long-term girlfriend, career, job, I put on a lot of weight from the antipsychotics, started smoking and lost my fitness, lost my passion for mountain biking, swimming and the gym and had to go bankrupt. In 2009, after my second psychotic episode, I mostly gave up misusing AOD and started working with a. psychiatrist and taking my antipsychotic as prescribed, but was not very engaged in my treatment as I believed the alternate reality that was my voices and delusions.

In 2016, I had a turning point in my life and started my recovery journey with what at the time seemed like an insurmountable challenge. I had my diagnosis changed from BPD with drug-induced psychosis to schizophrenia, and I thought that my life was over. I only knew the stigma and discrimination that I had heard, and I thought that if I had schizophrenia, I was not in a good position to put it politely. I went home and looked up schizophrenia online, and I immediately identified with the diagnosis as it sounded like someone had written about my life. I literally thought that if I could sit on a couch and watch TV, that was what I expected I could do for the rest of my life, if I was lucky. Somewhere deep inside me I was not willing to accept this and I engaged with my treating team, researched everything I could find about schizophrenia, watched endless YouTube videos on other people and recovery stories, took my medication as prescribed and made countless mistakes trying to find a way to exist in the loneliness and isolation that was my life living interstate from my family and having been abandoned by people I used to call friends.

My recovery journey from that place I was not willing to accept feels like wading through water, not knowing what direction the shore is in, how far it is, or how long it will take to get there. I’m still not there, and I believe I will be in recovery for the rest of my life. Along the way, I have met some people who supported me, believed in me and gave me opportunities. I have also had even some of the same people and others say the cruellest and most insensitive things, holding me back by not accepting that I am creating a new life that is meaningful and purposeful. I learned that I truly need to believe in myself and my abilities, hone in on my values and beliefs, and never accept less than what I deserve. Recovery is so hard and so challenging, and to walk the recovery journey path, you just need to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward, and it will reveal what is uniquely your experience.

As you might be able to imagine, over 20 + years, there were many challenging situations, not to mention that I was also trying to process my gender identity, as I identify as a transgender woman. This is really just in a nutshell to keep it from being an essay, so please ask questions and be curious if there is anything that you want to understand more deeply!

Let’s create some discussion, and here are some questions (but not limited to) to get us started:

• What are some of the challenges you are facing in your recovery?

• What supports, services and resources do you regularly engage with in your recovery?

• What does recovery look like to you?

• What have you learned in recovery that may support another Member?

We also want to hear about your experiences, so if you feel comfortable, please share your story, your challenges and what you have learned!

We all have it within ourselves to live a meaningful and fulfilling life with or without symptoms 

RiverSeal ❤️

Just tagging in some Members who may be interested in this thread!!

@Egonza @Patchworks @maddison @Millielulu @TAB @A0ri021 @LW1969 @Elisena

@Judi9877 @Eve7 @StuF @Meredyth49 @DIDJane @Dk5 @MissRenae08

@MeerkatMonsta @Hope @recovery @Libra @Cleo2 @Jaybee12321 @sol_87

@Paperdaisy @MDT @boofhead73 @Anon1975 @Bunniekins @Hemlock @Krishna

@Dimity @MissGremlin @Eden @creative_writer