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Young adult woman with no friends, close loved ones

skullknightrenNew Contributor17 June 2025, 11:12 pm AEST

Young adult woman with no friends, close loved ones

I turned 21 this month and I feel very behind in my life. What makes it feel worse is that I have on-going clinical depression and I’m not medicated and I have no friends even up until now.

I do volunteering on the weekend, have attended yoga, Pilates and a boxing class to try and meet new people as well as trying to make friends online through bumble. I have had no luck and feel as if something is wrong with me. I try to be positive but it’s hard and I’m getting back into my bad isolating and gaming habits because it feels like it’s always going to be like this.

I feel very tired, ashamed that I have no one to turn to even for fun. I don’t think I’ve ever had a real friend. None of the friends I made back in school stayed in contact with me nor did I ever feel like I belonged. My depression stopped me from going to school making progress in my life for 3 years, only this past year have I got myself a job and tried to turn my life around.

i feel so alone. is my loneliness deserved? do i try too hard? do i not try enough? am i childish for still having these thoughts?

I’m not sure whether there’s going to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

4 replies

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In response to: Young adult woman with no friends, close loved ones

AppleblossomSenior Contributor18 June 2025, 11:24 am AEST

Re: Young adult woman with no friends, close loved ones

@skullknightren @Good on you for doing volunteer and other work and all the right things…

balancing gaming habits is a particular challenge for your generation…. For lots of people….not just you …. It wasn’t a problem for me… cos I am old…. I had different challenges. Like anything yummy and addictive… but we can’t pretend it hasn’t influenced our world… here’s to hoping your generation can cream off the good things about it… when I was a young mum… I thought it wonderful… all the imagination that went into them….

I tried too hard to keep friends too…staying in abusive situations….find your own flow….

I have to log off…

I will tag some younger people to maybe say hello

@StuF @MDT @oceangirl @rav3n

In response to: Young adult woman with no friends, close loved ones

rav3nSenior Contributor18 June 2025, 1:58 pm AEST

Re: Young adult woman with no friends, close loved ones

hey @skullknightren welcome to the forums!

i agree with @Appleblossom, doing activities like volunteering, pilates, boxing classes, etc., are such good ways of putting yourself out there and finding new connections.

please don't be ashamed, i promise you - you're not alone. at 21, i had no one i really spoke to, no one i trusted enough to open up to. during my undergrad uni, i made 0 friends while my high school friend made 10+ which made me feel like i was the problem. i have social anxiety so making friends was something i struggled with and found really exhausting. i questioned my social skills, i kept thinking things like 'maybe i'm not funny enough', 'i'm too boring and weird', 'did i say something dumb', etc., which made it overwhelming to even interact with others.

after putting myself out there multiple times, i finally started to see some progress and made a few more friends. i have small knit circle, and i have lost some friends too, but i think your 20s is when friends come and go because you yourself are going through changes (work/study changes, relationship changes as well as figuring out who you are and the type of person you want to be/want to surround yourself with).

i assure you, you're not childish or deserving of loneliness. you're just a human, and i can painfully relate to feeling like this too. sounds like you've worked so hard on turning your life around, and there's clearly lots of progress being made with getting a new job and trying these new activities. this just shows me that you are so strong and capable of growth, so i have no doubt that with time, you'll make new connections. can i ask, how's your experience been when trying to connect with others in those group activities? do you usually make the first move, do you enjoy the conversation with them, what do you chat about, etc. (no pressure to answer all these, just keen to get to know more!) here for you 💙

In response to: Re: Young adult woman with no friends, close loved ones

skullknightrenNew Contributor18 June 2025, 10:10 pm AEST

Re: Young adult woman with no friends, close loved ones

Hi raven,

thanks for replying back to my message.

I would say that I’m very introverted in my own space but being around people I can act very social and I think I do make a good impression on people as very friendly although I’ve had trouble finding anyone to talk to around my age and actually making friends. It really depends on who I’m speaking to though if they seem open to conversation, there are times I am talkative and ask a lot about people’s day, what they do, shopping and thrifting, little hobbies and sometimes about myself. My interests are gaming and collecting cards so I feel like it’s not something I can chat about with most people.

I think my problem is that I become disheartened quite easily. Because I’m not going outside enough and finding opportunities to meet people like in Uni or being in tafe but I’m considering doing uni next year which is one of many other issues I’m trying to figure out.

I still stay home majority of the time besides volunteering, shopping and work.

But I appreciate you taking the time to respond back to me 😆 I’m still trying my best to keep myself going improving myself

In response to: Young adult woman with no friends, close loved ones

MDTSenior Contributor19 June 2025, 3:13 pm AEST

Re: Young adult woman with no friends, close loved ones

Hi @skullknightren

Sounds like you are at least trying and that is to be commended.

So much effort goes into basics these days. So many of us are burnt out.

I've only just begun meeting people on my area and I'm 31. Been here for about 2.5 years.
Only happened through the coffee shop.

My point is that it's hard. It's kinda meant to be in a strange way because we are conscious of So many things now.

You are not childish.

You are 21 and figuring it out. I had 0 idea at 21. 2 of 30 people I invited to my 21st I still talk to.

Please keep on keeping on. That's all any of us can continue to do.

Uni is the best space for you atm tbh. Pursuing something meaningful like a course is key to unlocking what you are capable of. Key to finding yourself.

Keep it up !

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