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Something’s not right

Losing my grasp

MimmSenior Contributor

Losing my grasp

Hey, <br>So this is the third week of being in hospital. I'm due to be discharged on Wednesday. However I don't know how I feel. Once I got settled, I started to improve. Was going to groups, and actually trying to get out of my room. But the last two days have been so triggering cause let's face it some people are just poos. Sorry if that is offensive, just find it frustrating when people know they are triggering people but continue to do it just because they can. Sorry for the random tangent. But all I can think about is self harming and or suicidal thoughts. I am getting desperate and am starting to feel like I'm too much of a bother.

8 replies

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In response to: Losing my grasp

-karma-Senior Contributor

Re: Losing my grasp

Hi @Mimm

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a hard time of things today!

You've come so far, 3 weeks down and a discharge on the very near horizon.

I'm wondering if you're actually scared about the impending discharge and what all that means for you, possibly on your own without the support of clinical services?

Perhaps this is all just too over whelming at the moment and you are falling back to known behaviours.

What distractions do you use when things are intense like this? If you're a writer perhaps even getting something down on paper could be useful to get your thoughts focused.

We're here to support you if you feel like talking would help?

In response to: Losing my grasp

MimmSenior Contributor

Re: Losing my grasp

Hey @-karma-
I do have a range of distractions, such as colouring, music, board games etc. Just my thoughts were too bad this morning that I went to sleep until this afternoon. And I know that sleep can be a way of coping but you need to be careful with it. Yeah perhaps I am a bit nervous or worried about the discharge but I'm just not aware of it.

In response to: Re: Losing my grasp

Unknown userMember

Re: Losing my grasp

Hi @Mimm

Just wondering if you are nervous about the discharge because you may have to face people who are triggering you at home or elsewhere? Here if you need to talk

In response to: Losing my grasp

MimmSenior Contributor

Re: Losing my grasp

@Former-Member
Um I'm not too fussed about the people on the outside as I only see the adopted family I live with. And then I have dbt etc. I think it might be because when I get out, I will have access to everything that can harm me.

In response to: Re: Losing my grasp

AppleblossomSenior Contributor

Re: Losing my grasp

Hello @Mimm

Its never good to be distressed on the edge of self harming, but I noticed part of your post was about other people's bullying behaviours.

Were you witnessing that or subjected it in hospital? Maybe journal about it and when feel safe share it .. if appropriate.

Grab onto the dbt strategies .. from what I can see they are good.

The world is a mix of good and bad and in between and people that may just rub others the wrong way. Taking care and control of your own feelings will help you negotiate all that stuff when you feel more ready to get out into life.

Take care.

In response to: Re: Losing my grasp

Unknown userMember

Re: Losing my grasp

Hi @Mimm

Like @Appleblossom - I believed your post was referring to someone bullying you (in your words, being triggered - some people are poo?). Is anyone treating you bad?

I think by reading your last post that you are saying you felt "safe" in hospital but are afraid of being tempted to self harm again when you leave there. Is this correct? Dear @Mimm - have you expressed this to anyone at the hospital? Can you talk to someone there about this? Do you feel you are really ready to be discharged and go home?

In response to: Losing my grasp

MimmSenior Contributor

Re: Losing my grasp

@Former-Member,
Hey,
Not bullied - more so people who could control their actions which trigger people decide to do it in the most public of places. I know that it makes me sound mean or pointing a finger and saying they are pretending but I know them and let's say they are doing it just because they can. It's crap.

I spoke to my pysch this morning. I am remaining in hospital until I get a confirmed date from my adopted family. But have been moved back to a category 4. And had all my hoodie strings cut and shoelaces taken etc. I'm not angry - I think it's the best to keep me safe right now.

In response to: Re: Losing my grasp

Unknown userMember

Re: Losing my grasp

Glad you spoke to someone at the hospital @Mimm. Yes, it is the safest place to be at the moment. And to address the reasons why you are feeling that way and work on it and coping strategies etc to avoid SH. All my best to you 🤗

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