Help navigating Divorce

Hi,

My wife recently asked me for a divorce, and honestly, I’m devastated. Everyone around me — family and friends — keeps telling me I should feel lucky, that she’s done me a favour. But it doesn’t feel that way. We have kids together, and after 20 years of being a family, I truly thought we’d settle down and enjoy the life we built.

Since the separation, things have only gotten harder. She’s turned the kids against me, despite everything I do for them. It’s not just the kids — it feels like she’s influenced friends and even some family members. The part that hurts the most is that I’ve never once raised my voice at her, never mistreated her, so I genuinely don’t understand what she could have told people to justify all this.

Many people keep telling me she’s a narcissist and that I just don’t see it. Maybe they’re right, maybe they’re not — I honestly don’t know anymore. All I do know is that she seems to have moved on and is living her life like nothing happened. She goes out partying, stays out overnight, while I’m at home looking after the kids, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and just trying to keep things going.

Meanwhile, I’m here questioning everything. Is this really what life is now? How do you even begin to move on when it feels like everything has been flipped upside down?

I just want to pack up and move to another country and start over.