i don't fit in

Hi @delrae and welcome to the forum. 🙂

Firstly, congratulations on moving away from the unhealthy coping behaviours of bulimia. I wonder are you still receiving regular medical and/or psych support? It sounds like you could use some real life help with what you are going through now.

I'm 54 and, from my angle, having permanent partners and kids in your early 20s seems very young to do that. To me, your friends are the unusual ones. At that age a lot of people are really still just exploring life for themselves. I remember the dating game though, and how hard on self-esteem it could be. Hugs for your feelings of rejection at present.

I hope you will keep posting to let us know how you are going.

Kind wishes.

Hi @delrae,

Thanks for sharing your valuable thoughts...it sounds like things are difficult for you at the moment.

I get the impression you are a very kind, caring, and insightful person and someone who is very strong and resilient....and the fact you have been able to share your thoughts with the forum is awesome 🙂

Do you get a chance to catch up with your freinds very often? What do you do for work and other stuff outside of work?

Hello @delrae

There are many difficulties growing up into today's era. its still not "all a bed of roses".

Sometimes focussing on doing things you VALUE helps. Your sense of loving to do those things may ebb & flow but should return.

Dating can be a hell of a stressor. I dropped it to focus on being active and out there. Then the focus is not putting yourself out on a market to be assessed, but simply involved in human activities, where you may meet good people ... and who knows where that leads ...

Pressures to be perfect need to be deflected before they get a grip on you. We all know NOBODY is PERFECT, so its irrational .. but people do pretend .. and that can hurt.

Take care

@delrae, congrats again on reaching out even though you felt anxiety about doing it. Great too that you are so aware of the pressures coming at you from social media (and the media in general really). Knowing these things is the beginning of getting a bit more of a handle on how to deal with them, I think.

Hi @delrae

I can only imagine how hard it would be for you at work...it can definitely be draining when we have to put on the happy face to get through daily activities. i hope you have something nice or enjoyable to do after work?

I love soccer too 🙂 how often do you get the chance to go for a run or ride your bike?

have you had a chance to share your thoughts with your friends or others you care about? I understand it can be difficult at times to share feelings with those we care about, especially if we are feeling judged and isolated

Ild love to know a few things you value most about yourself...even though it can be difficult, i find it helpful to take a momement to reflect on these things, especially in times when we feel a bit down...

hey @NotLabelDefined

i often will go for a walk after work or i have soccer training so that helps a little and i enjoy listening to podcasts just to wind down 🙂

i used to go for a run or ride most everyday but since i've started feeling this way about myself its become very hard to find the motivation but once i do eventually get out i feel almost for the amount of time that im okay again.

i haven't told them, only one close friend and she helps but i don't want to burden everyone else, im sure they all have their battles.

i like that despite all of this im still hopeful, i like that im determined and driven, i like that i still care so much for others and how they feel, i like that even though i get hurt i still never go and seek to do the same to someone else.

😢

Hi @delrae,

It is super nice to "meet" you. I can relate to your sense of not fitting in. I am a 39 year old woman and the only romantic relationship I have ever had was with a youth group leader who took a "special interest" in me when I was fourteen years old. I guess I have just never really "got" the whole relationship thing. I am now extremely socially isolated, and for better or worse I am becoming more and more ok with that every day. I now find that pretty much all face-to-face human interaction hurts because there are oh-so-many things that trigger my big feelings.

I have never experienced bulimia and thus can't really relate to that particular struggle. However, I have an extensive psychiatric history and I understand how big, big feelings can be. The bright spot in my world in the past few years was figuring out that I had Asperger's syndrome. This super helped me to feel more ok about being "weird" and not fitting anywhere. It didn't make me fit any better...but it helped me feel more ok about not fitting.

Anyway, I really just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in feeling like you don't fit. I super hope that like me, you are able to experience some sense of belonging here in Forum Land.