Depression

But I also have to say it was a lot of 'brain training' on my part. I don't have the scientific word for it, but it seems as though I've got a new brain. The old brain was always negative, thinking of the worst, hypersensitive... yet after meds and intensive therapy, my brain is so chill. I'm so laid back, content with life, looks for the postives, practice a lot of gratitude etc. @Tarmac_6 @NightFury

So in a way, I feel there needs to be constant work to maintain wellness. The meds got me to a point that I could focus on therapy and make those little changes.

@tyme I'm hearing you. It takes work and maintenance.

Yeah @NightFury ...like that...

So it's like re training your brain to think in different ways so that it breaks the cycle of unhelpful coping patterns.

An example is that in the past, whenever I was upset, I stayed at home, under the covers and refused to engage. Now, if I get upset, I give myself some time out and withdraw to take a breather, but then I make myself get out as a way to 'break the cycle' of negativity...

Not sure if I'm making sense. I haven't studied this, so I don't have the right words to use.

@tyme I think it makes sense.

So like...me for example...

Here in the forums, if I get anxious about a tone or a situation that my brain reads into a post or a reply (chances are it isn't even something that's true) and I withdraw because I think I'm going to get rejected anyway.

Right so....I withdraw to give myself some space and then force myself to jump back in and maybe try to look at it a different way.

It's building up the muscles to challenge the unhelpful thoughts and coping patterns.

"I think I'm going to get rejected anyway" @NightFury

That is such a familiar narrative.

I held onto that for years and years. Then, I read a book which really challenged this idea. In layman's terms, if you are ready to feel the pain that may come from being rejected, they you''ll never feel the joy and connection either.

This was a real shaking for me. It made me really consider whether avoidance really protects a person or not.

@Tarmac_6

I think I know this @tyme, like having to train my brain too and the meds aren’t going to do everything. I honestly feel angry and tired about how much work I have to do to be happy. Obviously I know everyone has their problems but I can’t help wondering why this happened to me. I’m not trying to feel sorry for myself I just wish things were different sometimes. Maybe this is impatient but I feel like I need it to get better sooner rather than later and I’m not sure how I can keep going until it does.

To this day, I remember speaking to a mental health clinician in hospital and said, "I just want to be happy"...

After many years, I realised this idea was a falacy and it is impossible to always be 'happy'.

When I came across the book, The Happiness Trap, my thinking was supported. The idea of wanting to be 'happy' is a trap, and keeps us in a state of failure and depression.

This book really challenged my initial thinking and was a real revelation @Tarmac_6 @NightFury

@tyme I did some research, it sounds like an interesting book.

I don't know about happiness, but right now, I'd settle for base line.

@Tarmac_6

Hi @tyme, thankyou for this I guess I haven’t thought about it like that. I will look into that book.

I'd be interested to hear what you think @Tarmac_6 @Tarmac_6 . It's not a hard read.

It focuses on ACT strategies. I often go back and refer to parts of the book.

Dr Russ Harris has got some interesting YouTueb clips that are a very easy watch if you were interested.

It really changed my thinking.