Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Feeling rejected and sad.

SaharaSenior Contributor16 Feb 2017, 4:13 am AEDT

Feeling rejected and sad.

I'm awake in the middle of the night and feeling low... the community project that I have been working on for over 3 months is falling apart and might close down completely. Yesterday, another member resigned from the project; that makes 3 resignations is the past 6 weeks or so.... these were each people who started off being very enthusiastic and positive about our project and then abruptly left it! It was like a complete turn-around in their attitudes.

The last woman who left... I felt like she was really criticizing us, saying that we "lacked direction or lacked vision." I feel so annoyed with her for saying that! I was really angry yesterday. What's even worse is that she is going to hang around and do a few things for a while (probably to keep criticizing us while she can.)

I hate to be criticized when I have put in so much work, all as a volunteer and all for the good of the community. I feel betrayed by her. Not that she was ever going to be a close friend or anything- we are too different. She was kind of bossy.

I feel a bit better now, but just so annoyed that I am awake in the middle of the night because of her words.

I obviously don't take criticism very well and have a lot of issues surrounding this.

I have been madly trying to recruit new members to our project without much luck. It's only a small town and we might have exhausted the pool of volunteers! I really think that I have to find a new interest now- something that doesn't rely on other people. People only let you down.

11 replies

11 - 11 of 11

1 2

In response to: Feeling rejected and sad.

SaharaSenior Contributor26 Feb 2017, 9:09 am AEDT

Re: Feeling rejected and sad.

Thanks @Norma, @Former-Member and @Former-Member,

sorry I have been away from Sane forums for a few days and did not realize there were more posts here! Thank you all.

And welcome to @Norma, as I see you are new here. I hope you find the forums to be helpful. Feel free to write whatever you like and share your experiences.

Since the episode with the woman who criticized us, I am feeling better. I've had a chance to talk to two significant people who manage other community groups and they have been very understanding and have experienced similar hassles to me. This is very reassuring.

The Critical Woman (I'll call her CW from now on) bothered me because I thought her criticism came out of the blue. She also 'announced' her resignation from a supporting role within our group, to my total surprise, without tipping me off first, at a meeting. I felt betrayed, because prior to this, she had come over to my house and I'd baked her homemade biscuits and had tea with her and she seemed happy with our group. I really wish she had confided in me first, if she were going to publically criticize our group at a meeting.

After the meeting, I did try and talk to her... to actually share my own frustrations with the group (which are different frustrations to hers) but she changed the subject and didn't want to talk about it! This was frustrating. I really feel that under the circumstances, she should withdraw from the group completely, but I have no real power to make her do that... and I'm not the type to outright reject someone, anyway.

Today, I have the chance to go in and talk to her, as she is volunteering by herself today. I doubt I will do it.... I believe she will just shut me down, again.

I'm sorry, this must all seem very petty to everyone else! I sound like a cry-baby.

I think I am sensitive to criticism because my Mum always criticized me!

The one thing I'm getting from this whole experience I guess, is the ability to persevere, to learn to tolerate uncertain situations and to tolerate people and their differences. I've learning to plow on, regardless of criticism, adapt and re-think things.

11 - 11 of 11

1 2