My life sucks

@Blackcloud Im glad you did catch up with your lecturer. Can you describe your drawings? Only if you want to no pressure. 🙂

Awesome job on already redoing one of them. Don’t feel pressured to do the other two. Having said that I’m pretty sure you can do them because you strike me as talented, strong and capable. Sometimes our minds can go off on their own thoughts and when this happens to me I can sometimes change those thoughts by saying like a positive affirmation and doing the task slowly and in bits. I’m not sure if that is something they might be useful. I totally get though that sometimes it’s just not possible due to the way you feel.

Were you able to eat something today? I’ve finally put some food in my mouth. 🙂

@Cuddlebear , looks like you are busier then me my friend 🧡

Anything planned for tomorrow

If it is not raining too much tomorrow, we will try to do some shopping

Do you like yourtube videos

I like playing word games on the phone

Love being in nature , but I need hubby to drive as I cant drive

@snowflake231 , @Blackcloud , @Jynx

@MissGremlin Broken sleep is so hard to live with. Does your mind go off in lots of thinking when you would like to sleep? I’ve been watching some stuff on YouTube about sleep and also dreams. I have several sleep disorders and see a sleep specialist through the public hospital. I have my third sleep study at the end of June. Have you ever had a sleep study? I really hope you can get some sleep tonight. I’ve been playing sounds of rain and gentle thunderstorms to help me sleep better. For me it helps. I get the sounds from YouTube videos 🙂

I’ve had a struggle with complex PTSD lately. It’s been a tough gig. Today was better than yesterday but I wouldn’t call it a success so to speak. I had to really really focus on not having a real breakdown and am proud of myself for getting through my own thoughts and feelings. Currently snuggling with my seeing guide dog and have my kitty on me too 🙂

it is terribly hard without humans who really care and can be there when you really need someone to hang out with or even a hug. My fur babies are my most amazing family. I do have friends but they really just don’t understand complex mental health disability and I have my daughter as family plus fur babies. I try hard not to burden my daughter as I feel guilty as her mum. I just don’t want her to worry about me and panic something will happen.

I like this forum. People really understand and very kindly share their lived experience. It also helps knowing online friends here are listening and looking out for each other.

Do you have any fur babies? How do you like to pass your time?

What is your furbaby name @Cuddlebear 😊

Having a good sleep really helps, so I have not slept well lately so feeling very tired

@Cuddlebear i struggle getting to sleep, a combination of intrusive thoughts and things racing through my head but then once i do fall asleep i only sleep for no more than 30 minutes at a time before waking up having a panic attack, and they last a good hour or 2 before easing, then the whole cycle starts again. Unfortunately I'm not in a position to do a sleep study but not sure it would really solve anything anyway. I did try medications but one didn't work and the other sent me into a psychotic episode and I ended up in hospital, so medications are out. Whilst I love the sound of rain and thunderstorms it has to be in real life for me to enjoy it out find it relaxing.

Good on you for getting through things today even if it was hard at times, proud of you 😊.

I don't have any friends so I'm alone all the time other than my fur baby who is in training to be my assistance dog, he is a 9 week old puppy 😊. So glad that you have your seeing guide dog and a cat, animals are such great companions to have.

The forums are great and it's an amazing community here.

I like to do colouring in mostly but also enjoy other crafts, watching some TV shows and listening to music.

What about you, what sort of things do you do to pass the time?

@MissGremlin

Thanks ❤️ will see how I’ll go with them in the next few days. Though at the same time, I really don’t think I can do them at all 🥲 perhaps it’s best I should give up on them and submit the portfolio as is 😅

I find it so easy to give up on things that I know are impossible and difficult to do as that’s usually the mindset that I have.

@Blackcloud you can only buy try. Remember:

I know that mindset all too well, it often feels so much easier to just give up on something if it feels too difficult or impossible. You are doing your best sweet and I'm proud of you for always giving things a shot ❤️.

@Cuddlebear I would say I’m quite decent at drawing but definitely not at the ‘artist’ level, hence why it’s hard for me to be able to do the drawings that look more complex

yeah I guess it’s better if I just don’t re-attempt it again and just submit the portfolio assessment as is 😅 losing a bit or some of the marks along the way won’t affect me that much, as long as I can still get at least a 50% from the assessment. It’s easy to give up and not do them especially when your mind keeps telling you this

yeah I’ve eaten today 🙂

@MissGremlin you are amazing, I really appreciate the kind and reassuring words❤️❤️🫂

@Blackcloud you can't force art or inspiration in my experience, so taking a breather from the drawings is probably a wise choice!