Childhood Trauma

Hey @Phoenix65 ,

The fact that you've made this post is a start.

Sometimes, we don't remember parts of it as it serves a purpose. Do you have any support from therapists whom you can work with on a therapeutic level?

There are many others who have experienced childhood trauma here on the forums - myself included. Actually, I didn't see my experiences as 'trauma' until it was pointed out to me, And even then, I didn't want to believe it.

@Phoenix65 it is fairly common for people who have had childhood trauma to have some degree of amnesia for events, even when other things may be crystal clear.

This can be due to a degree of disociation. It can also be due to other ways the brain acts to protect the individual facing the trauma.

Dissociation can range from everyday stuff like day dreaming up to Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Someone like a GP could help, but probably they would refer you to a more specific MH worker such as a psychologist or psychiatrist as that would be helpful. Oh I forgot aren't you already about to see a psychiatrist through the hospital?

A book to look at though is The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk

@Till23 I am actually listening to the audiobook The Body keeps the Score. Interesting. Yes I am going to be in contact with a therapist through the hospital. I thought that maybe someone had a more immediate answer. Where are you located?

@Phoenix65 I am in NSW

Unfortunately, no one on the forum will be able to give you an immediate answer because everyone has had a different experience and there are many reasons for what you are describing, so there are many questions to be asked. You will be lucky to get an answer in your first one hour session with a psychiatrist because it is so complex, I'm sure you will realise that from the audiobook as you get further into it.

There are many types of defence mechanisms that people use when faced with trauma and there are overlaps, so there is a lot of teasing out of the situation, before someone can work out what's going on. As you said on a different thread the estimation for dealing with childhood trauma is years of treatment. I know it feels bad that it takes so long, because who doesn't want to just be better right now. Unfortunately there is no magic solution. Also, if you have been using defence mechanisms for years or decades, it will take time to modify these. Sorry I can't give a more positive response. I have been having treatment for almost 2 years after having none for decades and I feel frustrated it seems to take so long, so I can understand if you feel frustrated.

Hey @Phoenix65 , how are you going? Haven't heard from you in a while so I hope you are okay.