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Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Sane74Casual Contributor15 Feb 2017, 12:01 am AEDT

Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Hello,
I still can't believe I am finding myself on this forum. I'm at my wits end and I feel very alone.
My husband of two years had just recently been diagnosed with BPD. He had been in and out of various medical practitioners before I stumbled across the book 'stop walking on eggshells' it was like the book was written about him and our situation.
Life is crazy right now. He is erratic and on edge most of the time and for the rest of it he's in bed and I can't get any sense from him.
The thing is - I'm trained in the mental health field. I teach disabled adults. I can't work this one out though and it annoys and frustrates me.
I suppose just by being in touch with likeminded people who 'get' what I'm going through I hope to just get some advice. How do I cope without getting too stressed with the situation.
Thank you..

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In response to: Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

DeterminedSenior Contributor21 Feb 2017, 10:18 pm AEDT

Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Hi @Rose96

Sorry to hear things are rough for you at the moment 😞

I know what you mean eaiser said than done, I often take things personally. For me somtimes the only thing I can do is wait it out while letting my darling know that I am not going anywhere (she has a real fear of abandonment), the waiting always hurts though 😟

Things are looking up for us at the moment, my wife arrived home from hospital this afternoon after 2 weeks away, I was very anxious as to how this would go as it has gone very badly in the past. (I try hard but am no house maid and definatly have man eyes when it comes to seeing mess). This time however (so far) it has gone smoothly 😊

I really trust things turn around for you soon. Feel for you both at the moment.

In response to: Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Rose96Senior Contributor22 Feb 2017, 9:24 pm AEDT

Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Hi @Determined,

Thank you for being so kind!
I think that's what I'll have to do, try and wait it out. I let him know as often as I can that I'm here and won't be going anywhere. I know he feels bad for putting me through this as well.
It is really hard, him being so distraught and me not being able to find a way to help. 😞
I know he will pull through this rough patch. Just hate seeing him suffer in the meantime.

Im so happy for you both! 🙂 That's really great that things are running smoothly!
Haha yes my partner has the man eyes as well!
I hope things continue to go is way for you both 🙂

Take care!

In response to: Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Sane74Casual Contributor22 Feb 2017, 9:43 pm AEDT

Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Thank you for your reply. Everything you write makes sense. God it's unbelievable to actually be in touch with others in similar situations. Feeling not so alone has helped me so much. The past week has had him have a huge turn around. It's lovely to see and I need to stop being so critical. I'm trying to accept the flowers, the house cleaning, the endless hugs and telling me he loves me. I'm really trying to let my guard down. I feel guilty for having my back up and yet I hate that I feel all this. He has been much better recently yet I'm taking a while to catch up.

In response to: Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Rose96Senior Contributor24 Feb 2017, 4:19 pm AEDT

Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Thats so good to hear @Sane74! 🙂 I really hope this continues for you guys!
I know what you mean, I felt completely alone before coming on here!

It's totally understandable to have your guard up.
Whether you're doing it consciously or not, it's natural to try and protect yourself.

I feel a bit lost at the moment.
I just have no idea what to do next. My partner has been feeling really horrible lately and as he has just started with a new therapist, he's not really all that comfortable with her yet. She has him booked in every 2 weeks, but i feel like he should be seeing someone weekly, at least for the moment.
I just don't know where else to turn. He's not really sure if she's right for him, so I've said we can look around and find someone new. But he's just very negative at the moment and "doesn't see the point" in doing a lot of things. He's against trying medication as everything he was on years ago made him feel completely out of it (which I totally understand!) I just think he should at least discuss it with a professional. He's been off medication for about 3 years and has done really well up until a few months ago. I'm just not sure what to do.

Sorry to put a downer on yours and @Determined nice messages.
I'm really happy for both of you!

In response to: Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

DeterminedSenior Contributor08 Mar 2017, 12:41 pm AEDT

Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Hi @Rose96 @Sane74

How are you both today?
Trust things have improved and are going ok for you

In response to: Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Rose96Senior Contributor10 Mar 2017, 5:18 pm AEDT

Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Hi @Determined,
Sorry I've been a bit MIA lately.
Things have actually been a bit better 🙂
I've started seeing a psychologist myself. Only early days, but it's a step in the right direction!
My partner has been feeling better over the last couple of weeks as well. Although he's had a few tough things to deal with lately, he's managing for now and I couldn't be prouder of him.

I hope your wife and yourself are doing great!

In response to: Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

PheenstarSenior Contributor11 Mar 2017, 3:58 am AEDT

Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Hi @Sane74 , I hope your having some moments of "I can do this" some positive thoughts of "I can hold my head up higher than most in any room" cause showing some battle to get through tough times isn't for everyone. I'm thinking... this lady is doing good and you'd want her on your side when the going get tough

In response to: Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

DeterminedSenior Contributor12 Mar 2017, 1:10 pm AEDT

Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Hi @Rose96

Glad to hear things are going better for you both and trust the psychologist is able to give you the support you need. Well done for taking that difficult step, I know how hard it can be. 😊

I wouldn't say things were great for my darling but certinally much better than they have been. Just taking things day at a time.

In response to: Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Sane74Casual Contributor14 Mar 2017, 8:46 am AEDT

Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Thank you - I've been so up and down.. right now it's on the down. He's so destructive. Dropped all his therapy and supports we had put in place. Using every excuse imaginable to turn things against me.
I'm at my wits end... again
X

In response to: Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Rose96Senior Contributor14 Mar 2017, 10:02 am AEDT

Re: Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Hi @Determined,

Yes I'm hoping she will at least help me to be able to support him better.
That's great that things are going well for you both at the moment! I definitely understand taking things as they come!
I seem to he a jinx, every time I say out loud that he's doing better it all falls apart 😞
He's not been well the last few days again.

@Sane74 my parter is also saying he's doesn't want to go back to therapy. He's not a huge fan of his therapist, which is fine. But he's not willing to look around and find a new therapist. Money is a big issue for us, and finding him the best help and support on a budget isnt ideal.
I have to trust that things will get better.
I really hope things start turning around for you guys soon as well!

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