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Something’s not right

Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

So since my mum introduced me to a guy that recently migrated from our ethnic country (he’s of Chinese-Cambodian descent but was born and raised in Cambodia) here in Australia to come and study, that she wants me to be with for the rest of my life (well she wants me to have a partner and not be single and is very much forcing me to have a partner).

I’m also of Chinese-Cambodian descent but I was born and raised here and since I can’t stop thinking and be stressed/upset over this whole thing, I did do a lot of research regarding if the current generation (my generation - Gen Z) in Cambodia is considering on having kids, but the thing is I can’t seem to find any info regarding that, not even on reddit. And since I definitely do NOT want kids and am 100% certain about it, I had to spend a lot of my free time doing research on that on all the related topics and going through the comments coming from the Cambodian redditors (since a lot of them in my generation are fluent in English) as I’ve been stressed about this non stop.

Wasnt until yesterday evening that I looked up some videos and some info (including reddit posts) regarding if the Gen Z’s from other South East Asian countries (like the Philippines) are considering on having children, and from the answers I’ve seen - I see that a good amount of them are becoming more open minded about the difficulties of having kids, considering how they all grew up in a country that’s really family-oriented.

And good thing my mum accepts the fact that I don’t want kids.

But what I’m really worried and concerned about is whether the guy from Cambodia (that I’ll have to unfortunately meet or whatever) thinks otherwise. But if he accepts my decision of having no kids though, that’s great - but then if he tells his parents when they ask him about it, what if they were to tell him that I need to have kids after he tells them no, and then he passes the message onto me?? That’s the part I’m really worried and scared about.

Also it really frustrates me how every married women in Cambodia (including the ones in my extended family) seem to be having kids, and never considering on having NO kids after they got married. (Well, those ones in my extended family are mainly millennials)😑

I know that I’m better off being with someone who was born and raised here, but the thing is my mum knows that I don’t have any friends that I can connect with on a day to day basis, especially long term. Plus, her and my dad don’t have any connections with any other Cambodians that live here in Melbourne, which is why my mum wanted my aunty to find a guy in Cambodia that they wanna introduce me to (for gods sake..😑😑😑) since….my mum is only connected to her family there and my aunty (and uncle too possibly) also has connections with other people in their jobs I would assume. I also did join one of the Cambodian social clubs that my university has since last year, but when I attended to their welcome party event - I had a 50-50 experience there and I didn’t (and still dont) plan on attending any of their upcoming events because of….well, my inability to make connections with people and everyone pretty much ignoring my existence (except for one girl cause she’s the only one that came up to me several times whenever I’m alone)?

Plus, the guy is my age so he should at least be more accepting and aware of it especially since he lived in the urban areas/city back in that country.

@rav3n

31 replies

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In response to: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

@Blackcloud fingers crossed your mum's 'ok' really means 'ok' this time!! my mum's like that sometimes too, makes it hard to trust her.

ooo that's so exciting that you've officially applied!! how's your art course going btw? so are you still going to be continuing the art one while doing psych?

In response to: Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

@rav3n yeah, its really frustrating knowing that our mothers are like that ughh!! 😒

so far, I've done my essay and submitted it yesterday which I'm very proud of since it's due next monday.

and for the drawing unit, well...at the moment, not so great. since I still can't seem to be able to do the drawing tasks for this current portfolio assignment. I find those ones to be very difficult to do/complete especially cause for me they seem more complicated than the drawings on the previous portfolio assignment. i'm not gonna spend many hours trying to add certain details onto the drawings that meet the specific criteria/requirements lol my brain doesn't work or function like that, not even with what I've just been through recently lol. its too much. i'm seriously thinking of emailing the lecturer about my concerns about these as i really really really dont think i'd be able to do them, hence 'completing' or passing this assignment due to that lol

i'm expected to complete both those units by june this year.

@PengTing and fun fact, I've just got accepted into the bachelor of psychological sciences today, so that's very exciting!! 😄 I can't wait to start doing it this July!!

by the way @rav3n after you did your bachelor of psychology degree, did you get into honours or any other postgraduate degree afterwards? just curious if you dont mind hehe 🙂

In response to: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

@Blackcloud Yeah sadly progressing means getting decent grades. Getting into honours on your first go is very possible for most people still because there's usually a good amount of spots open, like for example 200ish for most unis. For post grad there's usually between 10-50 spots available depending on what you apply for. Getting into postgrad is the real challenge. You can reapply for postgrad and honour year after year if needed. I wouldn't be too stressed about it right now, you can still go onto many roles after honours for jobs as your pursue postgrad if that's your goal. I don't want to hinder you from it, just wanted to make sure your knew the reality of it, because its important.

Congratulations!!!! That's so exciting. Happy to hear you got accepted. A new path awaits for you.

In response to: Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

@PengTing ahh yes yes I get it now. That’s great to know that it can be possible to get into honours! 🙂

I have a friend who’s my age that’s currently doing her honours degree for psychology after completing the bachelors degree. She’s actually my support worker though and she’s great 🙂

In response to: Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

@Blackcloud ayy good job on completing that assignment early!!! i imagine the drawing unit is more time consuming, i remember spending hours and days on assignments and getting so easily frustrated at my work. hopefully you can chat with your lecturer and figure something out.

omg yay!! congrats, that was such a quick response!!

happy to answer!! i did complete my honours straight after but i didn't do any postgrad studies yet, i'm planning to do masters maybe next year. both honours and masters programs are quite competitive like @PengTing mentioned. there are other options too, once you complete your bachelors you can jump into other areas if you don't wanna continue further psych studies. or if you don't wanna do honours but you like psych, there's a course called master of applied psych which is kinda like a mix of psych and marketing i think, or you can hop into master of counselling, master of social work, etc

In response to: Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

@rav3n Those master options you’ve listed sound like great options for me to consider in years time when I get to finish doing the bachelors! Thanks a lot for that! 🙂

In response to: Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

no worries at all! i gotta hop off now, nighttt 💙@Blackcloud

In response to: Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

@PengTing I’ve done some research here and there within the past few days, from what I’ve found if I can’t get into honours or masters after completing the 3 year bachelor degree, then you can get into a graduate certificate/diploma in order to get into masters?

wait, but then if we can’t get into honours, is there a way we can get into masters - like do both of them work the same way in terms of entry requirements or? 😅 I saw that with honours the requirement is to get like a 5.5 or a 6.0 GPA (so, really good marks for most units you did in bachelors?) which seems like a lot

In response to: Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

@Blackcloud Hey, yeah so there's a regular honours pathway and there's the graduate diploma of psychology. There only difference between them is the cost, the graduate diploma of psychology costs way more usually around 30is grand and regular honours is around 10ish grand. If you are an AU citizen, the regular honours is covered under HECS and you can also defer the payment for the graduate diploma of psychology.

Sadly you have to complete an honours year to be able to apply for a masters place. No way around this. If you can't get into honours, you can try again the following year.

Masters is by far the hardest to get into to because of limited places. Both require good grades, honours is pretty achievable I would say. The requirements for honours differ between some unis, as far as I know most of them are based on a WAM score, which takes into account the average mark of your 8 core psychology units you will study in the 3 years bachelor. So they only care about those 8 units, the unis that go off gpa I am not so sure on. So for example for me I have to complete 24 units to complete the bachelors, they only care about the marks for 8 of the core units from that, the other 16 I could just barely pass and would not affect my grades for getting into honours ( this may be different for unis that go off gpa). Hope that makes sense.

In response to: Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

Re: Been stressed out about this to the point I had to do extensive research before I meet this dude from my ethnic country

@PengTing yea I think I get what you mean, since my uni seems to use the results based on the GPA for postgrad.

With the bachelor of psych sciences degree I’m gonna be doing, that one consists of 5 core units + 8 major/specialist psych units + 11 electives = 24 units so I wonder how that’s gonna work out, especially for the first two.

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