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Empty House

RobatiContributor14 Feb 2017, 8:02 pm AEDT

Empty House

It's the 3rd day since my defacto left the country with our kids ages 3/5/7 , with me getting to see them or say goodbye , nothing hurts more than coming home after work to an empty home ! Usually my 5 yr boy would greet me when I come thru the garage but now there's no one . There toys an rooms are as they left them pretty much left all there stuff jus clothes they hav taken most of it !as much as you can try to block things out or breathe or think positive you still have those what if moments , they are not good . Hav no choice but to move on , wish I could fast forward time jus so I will hopefully be over this , I hav kept away from alcohol jus to be mentally strong not to tex or ring my defacto overseas as all I would be doing would be begging an I don't want to be doing that again . She repeatedly tells me to let her go an she doesn't love me the same anymore , but we hav 2 boys 2girls together oldest being 12yrs but she has been overseas staying with my defactos mum. We hav broken up so many times an has to me to jus fix myself , as I hav too much hate in me towards her family , but we always get back together. Not been able to see my kids is the hardest . I am even gonna try an attempt to not contact them for 1year . Jus so they know the pain an she will realise her kids deserve to see or even be with there Dad . Well it makes me feel better writing all this for people to read not sure why but it helps , I know there are people struggling in worse situations than mine . So I hope everyone else is coping ok , cheers for reading .

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In response to: Empty House

RobatiContributor21 Feb 2017, 9:44 am AEDT

Re: Empty House

Hi all , jus on my smoko break at work , feeling a lot worse today , pills I was given I won't be taking anymore it actually made me feel sick , an I had less sleep. My ex tex me early mornin from overseas asking if I am gona support the kids financially ? Because she tex from her mums number I called there home number instead , I told her I'm not sure yet cause I still feel shocked as to where I am now . She goes ok then bye ! Way things are at the moment I can pretty much guarantee that I won't be seeing my kids for at least 6months.i hav always supported them an feel like she needs to appreciate having my support for the kids . I'm hoping that if I don't support them at all she will realise how hard will be for the kids an herself ? Jus feeling lost again , an thought il spill it out , cheers

In response to: Re: Empty House

Unknown userMember21 Feb 2017, 11:56 pm AEDT

Re: Empty House

Hi @Robati

It sounds like today has been a tough one and I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling worse. I'm glad that you have the forum to express how you're feeling however and it enables you to reach out on the hard days. I hope that you rest well this evening and get a good sleep.

Shel49

In response to: Re: Empty House

AlgebraicFurySenior Contributor22 Feb 2017, 12:34 am AEDT

Re: Empty House

Hi @Robati, I'm sorry to read that you aren't doing so well. It is a very difficult situation that you are in at the moment. I expect you would be feeling uncertain about the future, perhaps anger towards your ex-partner and devastated from losing your kids. Talking about this situation on these forums, with your GP, and with a psychologist eventually, will help ease the pain at least a little.

If the antidepressants that you were prescribed are making you feel unwell then I would recommend going back to your GP and asking for a different antidepressant. The side effects vary a lot between different antidepressants, and I'm sure there would be one that is suitable.

It's very sad that you may not see your kids for 6 months. But, it would give you a chance to work on yourself, if necessary, so that you are in the best state mentally for your kids. Perhaps it may be beneficial to focus mainly on what is best for your kids at the moment.

Unfortunately, sometimes we need a huge shakeup in order to realise that we have a problem. This was the case for me, when after around 4 years into our relationship my partner left with my baby boy. My moods had become so erratic and scary, yet I was unable to see that I had a problem until they left me. Thankfully I was able to find help, and today I'm doing quite well thanks mainly to medication and also to psychological therapy.

Things might feel pretty ordinary for a while, however if you put in the effort to deal with any issues then you will feel better.

Take care, AF

In response to: Empty House

RobatiContributor22 Feb 2017, 12:32 pm AEDT

Re: Empty House

Hi everyone @AlgebraicFury thanks for your comments yes I realise I am abit upset at my ex partner but I do realise it was a lot of my own mentality that lead to this but she has also admitted she was also at fault as we both resented each other which lead to these arguments an where we are at now , I also like what you said about a good shake up ! As I now feel if I can't or don't make an effort to change I'm better off letting them hav a good life without me .@AlgebraicFury thanks for the encouragement to do what's best for my kids . @Former-Member thanks for your comment yes I did rest up well , an grateful I found this forum as it does help a lot when your mind decides to wander ! Hoping to pop round GP after work an let him know about these antidepressant pills ? They really threw me back , hoping I won't need them anyway ? Hard to say right now , hav a good day to all cheers .

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