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Any tips for just dealing with normal life admin stuff?

JlolSenior Contributor28 Apr 2025, 11:45 am AEST

Any tips for just dealing with normal life admin stuff?

I have PTSD and ADD.

I am able to work and earn and income to support myself, but really struggle with other 'normal' life admin chores, like paying bills, answering emails, booking appointments, etc.

The best way to describe it is that when I sit down at the table to do such tasks I feel completely overwhelmed, panicky, and instantly very, very tired. It sounds so stupid when I type it out, but a task that someone else would take for granted like logging into online banking and paying a electricity bill can take me an 30mins to an hour to get through.

Worst yet, is when I complete such a chore I feel incredibly depressed for the rest of the day. It's like opening my email or internet banking opens a can of worms. For example, when paying an electricity bill my thought process will go something like:

Shit! That's a lot more than I thought it would be. I thought I was working really hard to use less electricity. What's gone wrong here?
Should I call the electricity company and see what's up? Maybe they got something wrong.
Have they just raised their prices for the hell of it? That makes me mad. I should call them up and complain about that. That would be the right thing to do.
No, the right thing to do would be to shop around and see what other companies are out there. I guess I should add that to the list of things I need to do today.
I wonder if they check the meter, or just guesstimate? How can I find this out?
Ok, lets just login to online banking and pay this bill. Shit, theres a lot less in there than I thought!
What are all these charges? I don't know what half of these mean? Am I being scammed?
Ok, lets make a list of things to cancel. Lets give up Netflix, maybe the gym.
No, you fat f*cking idiot. You need to just have some self control and stop eating out more. And do a f*cking budget!
That charge there is definitely a scam. I need to google this company. Oh, nope that is something legit. Why did you spend so much money on this stupid thing?
And why arn't you doing something sensible like putting your savings into shares? Or more into super? Make a note to add that to your pile of things to do.
Ok, lets go to Bpay and pay that f*cking bill. Wait. I've got 4 saved payee's here each called "electricity" which one is it?
I know, I'll just add it again. I just need to enter in this 20 digit code. Got that wrong, try again. Wrong again, try it again. OK, one more time. F*ck, it says that I already have this one saved. But which f*cking one?
OK, let's just go back through my statements for the last few months and find the last time you paid it. Man you've spent so much f*cking money, you stupid twat.
OK there it is. Copy that. Lets try pay it. Done.

And repeat for everything.

I just feel so shite after each of these things its so much easier (in the short term) to not do them.

But how do I get on top if this sort of stuff without feeling so bad about it?

3 replies

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In response to: Any tips for just dealing with normal life admin stuff?

BowSenior Contributor28 Apr 2025, 2:44 pm AEST

Re: Any tips for just dealing with normal life admin stuff?

Feeling your pain @Jlol i struggle to do a lot of life admin stuff too. Making phone calls I absolutely hate…. I have a number I need to make and I’ve been needing to make them for months.
I also struggle with decision making. I feel the pressure, the responsibility. It feels massive.
I have no real tips, just feel your pain. Your not alone

In response to: Any tips for just dealing with normal life admin stuff?

aria3Contributor29 Apr 2025, 1:53 am AEST

Re: Any tips for just dealing with normal life admin stuff?

I have PTSD as well and can really relate to this. In fact, dealing with bills, internet banking and budgets, passwords, the fear of hacking, financial stresses, all became a painful panic trigger for my anxiety and I would avoid it as much as possible. I think at one point I was afraid to even check my balance or do any budgeting for about 6 months. Which of course snowballed and made it even worse, because thats how PTSD works, if you try and push it away and repress it, it becomes the monster behind the door hacking through it with an axe like Jack Nicholson in the Shining. I know that I need to make it less stressful for myself and unfortunately I have to face it, in small controlled doses, daily, until I see that I CAN successfully deal with it, and that it is NOT the original trauma but something else that triggers the emotional cycle of spiralling anxiety. Maybe give yourself one admin task a day. Be dogged and get through it, keep a diary or journal to write it all down on so you can see you are climbing that mountain. Even if its just checking your balance on a banking app. Take deep breaths while you do it, dive in, and then when you finish, reward yourself with something. Of course, even having said all this, I still have terrible fears with it all, but at least I know whats going on in my head. With PTSD the brain is hypervigilant, constantly looking for something thats threatening and dangerous, and it will find something something fearful it can jump on and start its awful circling spiral of bad thoughts. So whatever helps with your triggers will hopefully help here; connecting with your body, talking about it with others (you'd be surprised how many people have this crippling problem with finances and admin even if they dont specifically have PTSD), de-sensitizing it in small doses, treating yourself and associating it with positive feelings, writing about it, seeing it as a game, or turning it into humour (your list was hilarious!).

In response to: Any tips for just dealing with normal life admin stuff?

FlowerfleshContributor02 May 2025, 9:09 pm AEST

Re: Any tips for just dealing with normal life admin stuff?

This was very entertaining to read, and validating to know I'm not alone. I think there's beauty in how our ADHD brains work, how connected we see everything as (eg power bill to the bank balance to the Netflix account etc), but it sucks how this then becomes paralysing or overwhelming.

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