Painfully alone

Hello @Hanana and welcome to the forums

I hope you find what you are looking for here.

I have found the forums to be a friendly and supportive place.

Interestingly I just made a post about not feeling good enough.

I have been on my own all of my life.

I also have cPTSD due to CSA, depression and anxiety.

I am used to doing pretty much everything by myself, but I wish I could share things with someone.

I also feel enormous shame.

So you are not alone.

If I knew the answer to your question of how to feel connectedness I probably wouldn’t be here!

I hope someone else has some advice, that assists you

@Till23 thank you.

It is hard to open up and be vulnerable even at the best of times.

You feel yourself ever questioning if how you feel is a reality or perception? I struggle with this often. Is this feeling real or is it a mental health symptom?

I think the feeling is real @Hanana, but it comes from how you perceive the world.

Even if it’s a MH symptom it’s still how you feel and that’s your reality and it’s valid.

Other people may have a different opinion or perspective, but only you know that feeling. Others can empathise, but only you know.

If you jam your finger in a door I can empathise with you because I have done that, but it may feel different to how I felt when I did it, only you can know exactly what it feels like. I can only guess based on my experience.

Unfortunately many people don’t really listen these days, so they don’t understand how you are affected by relationship break-up, because even if you’ve actually said it they haven’t really heard you. Not everyone is like that of course but it’s fairly common I would say. I think there is more engagement when something is written down. Which I think is one of the values of the forums. Another is that there are probably many people on here who haven’t really been listened to, so they really “listen” and try to understand.

Hey darling. I am truly saddened to hear of the pain you have had to go through. Nobody, I repeat nobody deserves to go through what you have. But, it is clear that you are a strong woman. Despite the challenges, you have pushed through and survived. You should be so proud of yourself. I would love to help you out if I can. I am a phycologist with years of experience and I would love to help you through this difficult time in any way possible. I hope to hear from you soon. Stay safe darling.