FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

701 - 710 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you, that was my mistake! But I am glad you were engaged in that conversation. @NightFury

You mentioned:

"Three things that are accessible...

1. My breath (but you gave me that one)

2. My dog to help ground me and make me feel loved.

3. Sinking into the feeling of the warm fire and the warm mug in my hands."

These sound like really grounding strategies for you. 💛

Regarding challenging thoughts - what is a thought you would most like to challenge right now? I know I am finishing soon, but have a read of this, it may be helpful: Challenging Automatic Negative Thoughts — Mind My Peelings

We can revisit some of these CBT methods and safety planning tomorrow. Whatever you feel up to. ✨

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow can we come back to this tomorrow?

You're finishing up, and I feel like everything is confusing....I don't know how I feel, or what to do, or what I need. Focusing on things that require a lot of thought is difficult. I feel like I blew a fuse in my brain.

I am going to go to bed. But I want to come back to this tomorrow.

Good night @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How are things feeling for you today? @NightFury 💕

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow I'm grateful for your check ins. It makes me feel like maybe someone cares.

I've just gotten home from work. Literally, still sitting in the car in the driveway.

I'm feeling pretty exhausted tonight. It's been a big couple of days. I had a job interview today, for a different teaching role at the same school. I don't know. It feels like there's a lot of pressure and a lot of things riding on it.

I won't find out until tomorrow.

But I did reach out to my counsellor about it today. So, I'm trying...to manage things.

How are you? Are you feeling less flat today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow @MissGremlin just took a phone call...I wasn't successful

Just so you know in case I don't reply when you do...I'm tapping out for a bit tonight.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Awww sweet @NightFury, I'm sorry to hear. Sending you big hugs, we are here for you if you need us ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

you tried your best and i'm proud of you for that @NightFury i know that the financial security aspect was big for you, so totally understand that this outcome is hard to sit with. feel your feels, take your time to process it, and know that we're still here for you when you're ready. as hard as it might be right now, you deserve kindness. 💗

for when you are ready: rejection is simply redirection (towards something even better). got my fingers crossed that a better opportunity flows your way soon.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Of course, I care lots. I know many of us do actually. @NightFury 🥰

Seeing as there is a lot going on, I think you deserve some extra TLC - seriously, you are doing amazing given all that you are feeling. It's okay to take a step back when things are stressful, we will be here when it feels good to reconnect.

I am sorry to hear that your call didn't go the way you hoped. 😔 You're allowed to be upset about this, but I want you to know this doesn't define your capabilities, nor your success in the future.

We will keep working towards you believing in you, but for now, know that I absolutely believe you are capable and worthy of everything falling into place.

Sending big hugs your way. ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury sorry to hear you are having a difficult time at the moment and sorry to hear about the lack of success at interview.

Remember you have only been in the public system in your state for a few months, so I think that may have had something to do with it, you know, that you are a bit of an unknown to them at the moment. It's brave and brilliant that you went for the position though and I think that's something to focus on.

You have achieved SOOOO much in last few months - moving house, getting a job, studying, getting on to Sane forums, seeing GP, getting a MHCP, doing Sane guided recovery, reaching out to people and disclosing things - this is a HUGE amount to achieve in a short time. I feel really happy and glad for you and I'm happy I've virtually met you here. The amount of stuff you've achieved in the last few months is EPIC

I'm not on forums as much these days, but I do check in at least once a day to see about tags, so always feel free to tag me.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow sit with me?

701 - 710 of 3,920