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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @rav3n

I'm feeling kinda...fluttery. Not sure if it's the new medication or if I'm a bit worried about counselling this afternoon.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury It can feel unsafe to let unfamiliar things in... I remember meditating once and feeling so at peace; I was in a full-body knowing that everything will be okay, especially if I detach - and I genuinely freaked out! I messaged my psych like, 'what the hell, girl?!' haha

And she explained that it was because my body and brain weren't used to that feeling of safe being 'safe' yet. I have had more moments of this that have been accessible over time, so I know you can too. 💛

An idea: maybe you can practice allowing yourself to feel that sense of soothing and reassurance for one minute? Sometimes having a time limit can give us permission to fully be in an experience or feeling, knowing it will soon end.

In other news, how are you feeling today? 🌞

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow it's unusual seeing you here during the day. I'm at work, just having a recess break.

I'm not able to let go when I meditate to fully sink in and detach, to fully calm. I've been trying for a while and I think it's a fear thing too.

Maybe for a minute, I could maybe do that and see how it goes.

So far today, I'm feeling lighter than yesterday. I feel kind of fluttery and jittery, lots of fidgeting, pacing and leg bouncing happening. And have a fluttery feeling in my chest. It makes everything feel high energy. I'm not sure if I'm anxious about my counselling appointment this afternoon, or if it's because of the new meds. It's so much better than that heavy, down, sinking feeling from last night. I am afraid of that feeling, this feeling is one I've lived with for a long time.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I know! I closed my eyes, and I was here again! hehe

I am doing 10-6 on Thursdays now. ☺️ @NightFury

That's completely fair, it's hard stuff. What are your thoughts on movement meditation?

Maybe we can try it out together, a little later?

I understand what you mean, and maybe it's a bit of both? What are 3 things that are helping you to feel good (or even neutral) today? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow well there you go! Hi, it's nice to see you during the day.

I've not done walking meditation before. I'm willing to give it a go, maybe not today because I'm at work.

Maybe, but also...things feel weird. My brain is sluggish, and my body is fluttery. It feels weird.

3 things helping me to feel neutral...

1. Ticking jobs off my to-do list at work

2. It was pay day yesterday so financially feeling lighter

3. One of my students told me that she was talking to a family friend about me, telling her about a conversation we'd had about Pride groups in schools and her family friend commented that I was the kind of teacher that was needed in schools. It made me feel good.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I don't know how, but I accidentally commented on @MissGremlin's thread - I apologise!

I will bring us back to here. 🙊

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I saw that @AuntGlow and did a double take but didn't know whether to say anything. It's okay.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for understanding! @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow no worries.

How are you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

How are you?

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