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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

We somehow have a habit of posting at the same time! haha @NightFury

That's okay, I am glad you're listening to your body. Please get some rest and know that we will be here for you when you need someone to talk to. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I have work, and on Thursday I have an appointment with my counsellor.

We do have a habit of posting at the same time.

Thank you. Know that I'm safe, I'm just really really flat, and really really exhausted...today's been something else regarding my anxiety. I didn't think it was possible to go up another notch...but it proved me wrong. I just need some time and to bring the stimulation right down.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I hope seeing your counsellor feels good for you. 🥰 @NightFury

That must be really overwhelming... 😔

I get that, resting will be very beneficial here - sending lots of healing and nurturing energy your way tonight. ✨

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I managed to get some sleep last night, which is what I needed after what was a really rough and big day yesterday.

Thank you for your understanding and compassion last night. It's a lot to process and a lot to try and wind down from.

I started my meds this morning, and I'm feeling anxious about taking them. Apparently they can make you feel worse until you start to feel better. My GP told me to ride it out, but if anything big pops up to get in contact - the first week is apparently pretty tough.

I still don't really know how I feel about yesterday. I am little relieved in the sense that, this has validated my challenges a little for me. I have this..."you're just doing it for attention," programming that makes acceptance a little hard, but like...maybe now, I can work on telling myself that I'm not and it isn't? That it's validated and it's actually a challenge for me.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

hey @NightFury firstly - yay for getting through the appointment!!! that's honestly a really big win. i too lied a bit and downplayed how i was really feeling on my first few visits - to be fair, it takes some time to feel comfy, and i have no doubt that you'll get there with time.

i'm so proud of you forget visiting and asking them for support. my friend was pretty anxious when she started taking meds too, you're absolutely not alone in that feeling. how are you going today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@rav3n was feeling pretty crummy this morning. Dizzy, sluggish, slow and heavy. Felt nauseous and didn't want to eat. With some intense waves of anxiety.

The sluggish, slow feeling has faded a little and things feel lighter.

Things have been so changeable lately. Up and down and sideways and changing from minute to minute.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I am so relieved to hear this!!

Of course! That's what I am here for. 💛

Yes, this can be the case for some. If this does happen, know that you can come here and I will remind you that it's simply your brain adjusting to the chemicals. ☺️

Extra self-care is in order, I think. What could being more gentle with yourself look like over the next 2 weeks?

I really love this reflection. 🥺 It IS valid, and you are allowed to ask for help. I am sending you big hugs today. 🤗

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow things have been so changeable today. I had a little bit of time where I was actually feeling lighter and now the heavy is back.

I'm still at work about to head home.

Extra-self care, I think for this week is going to look like not pushing myself too much. I would normally go home after work and study, do jobs, and not stop until later in the evening, but this week, I have to acknowledge that I might need a little bit extra TLC.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury so fair, the anxious feeling really plays around with the appetite, hey? hope you managed to get a snack and hydration in.

ooft you've got a lot going on after work too - some extra TLC sounds perfect! much deserved! do you have a lot on this week outside of work? a chill weekend?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@rav3n I've had little bits to eat today.

I always have a lot on. It's a problem, I'm very aware. I have an appointment with my counsellor tomorrow night after work. Friday after work, I have a meeting with a work colleague for report writing. Saturday, I should go and play lawn bowls and schedule in some me time...but we'll see how that goes and I have to catch up on study over the weekend and around the house stuff - housework, groceries, mow the lawn.

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