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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling so well. How was your birthday? Were there celebrations? @AuntGlow

I....

I feel like I'm making all of the mistakes at the moment. It's causing a lot of anxiety, a lot of negative self talk and a lot of heaviness.

I made mistakes with my car, in not getting it sorted earlier and now, it's still with the mechanic.

I'm making mistakes at work and I'm scared that they regret employing me.

My friends, well...it feels like they've slowly pulled away. My TA friend hasn't messaged me in a month because I'm terrible at replying to her messages. My Scottish friend...it feels as if she's sick and tired of holding me through my challenges.

I feel like I'm a burden. I make mistakes, have no idea how to fix them or I panic or freeze and then others have to strp on and help me.

But...perhaps in contradiction...my parents are going interstate with their caravan. They're leaving this week, with no return date. I'm excited for them, but also terrified because my Dad has been doing a lot of the helping with my car and I am sadly aware that a lot of my social connection comes from my parents. I am going to be even more alone, and that causes my brain to be mean to me because I'm an adult and should be able to adult and deal with my challenges on my own.

I feel really vulnerable.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury my sweet, sorry I'm replying over here as I still don't feel comfortable being in my own thread.

Things have been all over the place for me, I have a few phone calls to make tomorrow which I'm already overthinking and it's also the day that I see my support worker but I haven't heard from her yet.

How's things over there?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Urgh! Phone calls can be so stressful @MissGremlin. I hate talking on the phone.

Things over here...

I've been to work today. It was quiet and not at all stressful. I am tired. I didn't sleep well, and woke up several times from odd dreams. Things feel kind of heavy.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury phone calls are stressful and i struggle to know what to say, my brain goes a million miles an hour.

I'm glad work was quiet and not stressful. Hoping you can get a good night's sleep tonight sweet, sending lots of love and hugs ❤️.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury my sweet, checking in with you today ❤️.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Today's been another work day @MissGremlin. Tonight we had a small family farewell to my parents who are off tomorrow, on a trip around Australia in their caravan. They have no return date as of yet. I've just gotten home.

How's it going over your way?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I hope your parents enjoy their trip away, how are you feeling about them going away sweet?

Things have been pretty rough here, I'm just glad to be sitting in bed now and doing some diamond art.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm sorry today's been hard for you.

I have very mixed feelings about them going away @MissGremlin. My feelings and relationship with my parents are complex but... I am scared because it leaves me without a lot of support. I'm sad because I'm not going to see them for months and I'll miss them...like a lot. I'm sad because I'm going to be doing life pretry much alone.

But I also feel guilty because I'm an adult and should be able to do adult things on my own. They deserve to live their best life and to travel and have fun and it's not fair of me to be sad and scared and to need them.

But then, I'm trying to remind myself of something my psychologist has hammering home - if I'm feeling my feelings about something, then those feelings are valid.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I really agree with your psychologist, you're feelings are completely valid.

It doesn't mean that you're not an adult and can't do the adult things cos you do those things on a daily basis. What it does mean is that even though the relationship with your parents is complex there's still love and support from them and to them from you.

It's normal to feel sadness about them being away for such a long period of time and I'm sure it will be hard to miss them while they're away. Just know that I'm here for you always sweet, only ever a tag away. Sending you lots of love and hugs, be gentle with your wonderful self ❤️.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for checking in tonight @MissGremlin I think I needed it.

I've just curled up in bed with Luna, so I'm going to say good night. I hope you're able to find some rest tonight.

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