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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury oh my sweet, so many things all triggering so much anxiety and fear. It's no wonder you ended up with the physical symptoms that you did, it's alot for one person to hold.

I'm so sorry things have been so tough for you and not having the forums would have added to it with feeling alone with no connection.

I'm here holding space for you sweetheart with nothing but love and care ❤️.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury i hear you with the memory struggles. I'm sorry that your family have been triggering with things aswell.

Crying out and not feeling heard when you so desperately need a break is incredibly tough. I hope there's a way to work around it sweet so you can get the much needed break that you deserve so much ❤️.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's just been a lot @MissGremlin 

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury i can hear that it's been alot sweet. Sitting with you and sending lots of love and hugs ❤️.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

And with things here not working properly @MissGremlin it felt a lot like I had no one in my corner @AuntGlow 

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury saw a link your thread through the “recent posts” so I can stop and say “hi”.

Just read your most recent post about the attempt to defer a subject and the mixed advice you got. That would be so frustrating to have different people suggesting conflicting things and then what felt “right” not being encouraged by the Advisor. I’m really sorry. I know I struggle to make decisions where there is no “good” option - both having drawbacks.

Have you had to make a decision yet? or been able to talk it over with your psych again since?

Not sure if it helps encourage at all, but I did my degree over 8 years. I was fortunate that most subjects did not have a pre-requisite, so it did not generally affect what subjects I could choose the following term that were on offer - there was always something I could study.

I know some courses are more set-schedule to build on top of them (I recall a friend doing Vet studies had this problem with her final subjects only being offered once per year, so if you failed you had to extend the degree a whole year to redo it and then progress to the next unit). Hoping yours may not be quite so restricted in the number of pre-requisites for subjects.

I relate to your memory struggles; I have alarms in the phone to remind me to make my meds and even with that i managed to forget to take them (even though I was at home!) one night last week. I now use a weekly-pill-organiser so that I can see whether or not I have taken them, because sometimes I forget if I have taken them even 1 hour later. And sometimes I am absent-minded and take the wrong one at the wrong time of day, oops! Now as long as I focus when I pack my meds into their boxes I should take the right ones haha.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@MissGremlin wondering how you are too, but don’t have a link to your thread.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AlwaysMyself I'll tag you over there. Only really shared one post there today though. But there's been so much that's happened which I'll probably share later tonight.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AlwaysMyself I'll tag you over there. Only really shared one post there today though. But there's been so much that's happened which I'll probably share later tonight.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I can understand that feeling but know that we're all still here and still very much care ❤️.

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