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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury And I just had a chuckle as I found the 2 pieces on the lounge, where I'd already checked numerous times 😂

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Ahaha! Love that you found them @MissGremlin

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury when I wasn't looking of course 😂.

I'm going to have a rest for a while as I'm not feeling the best. Thankyou for building Lego with me sweet ❤️.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

No problem, my friend @MissGremlin

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I understand - being an adult is so tricky and managing everything we need to do, be, and experience to feel grounded can be so much to hold. But I truly think you're doing a wonderful job of nurturing yourself and meeting your needs. @NightFury

TIPP sounds like it could be really helpful! I think anything somatic would be great for regulation. I can hear that it's hard for you to slow down when you're in fight/flight, and I think that's great for you to notice - it truly is tough but I believe this will shift and change as you find your natural flow.

Ah, KPI's are the bane of my existence! haha I get what you mean, it can be tough when there is added pressure... what is feeling light and connected at work for you right now?

Oh, that would have felt really vulnerable, I am sorry to hear that they have left. Have you been able to hold space for the feelings that are coming up?

I know that meeting people can be anxiety-inducing at first, but does it help if you lead with curiosity and sit with the knowledge that people are often feeling nervous about new connections too? Also... what do you imagine could go well about this meetup?

Your psychologist sounds wonderful! I am so happy you have a safe and supportive anchor with her. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow how are you? How's your weekend been?

I don't think I'm doing a wonderful job at nurturing myself and balancing my needs. I feel like I'm always chasing my tail.

TIPP could help, I think. I've just got to practice using it between now and my next appointment. I hope things shift and change because right now, I'm feeling very worn down by it. I'm tired.

What is feeling light and connected at work? I attended a work social event on Friday night. And it was nice to start building new connections with different work colleagues.

to be honest, I haven't really been able to hold space for the feelings that are coming up around my work colleagues leaving. I miss them.

With this meet up, I figure that I'll be engaged in something I enjoy...ghost touring and I can focus on that, if the connections are feeling awkward and I'm feeling anxious within them.

My psychologist is wonderful, but she's now on holidays and I have a month to wait for my next appointment.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Morning @NightFury my sweet, checking in with you today ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi, my friend @MissGremlin

I find myself to be exceptionally tired today but I am okayish.

How has your Friday been?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury feeling you on the being exceptionally tired.

It's been a tough day, I've not really had much in me to do anything today.

I did a load of washing, went to the shops with my friend and bubs, cooked dinner and did the dishes. That's enough for me today.

Have you got any plans for the weekend sweet?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have a big assignment to do @MissGremlin it's stressing me out. All I want to do is be lazy and rest but I can't and I'm frustrated with that.

It sounds like you've done enough.

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