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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think I might do that with the ice cream cake idea @AuntGlow I was thinking the same thing last night as I was typing my reply to you.

Ice cream cake flavoured frozen yogurt - it sounds interesting.

It is hard at the moment. Studying on top of everything else, feels impossible. I had a moment on Monday night after a phone call with my student support adviser where I literally slipped into the "why is this so hard? That's it, I'm done! I can't do this," state of mind. This is a theme that's been cropping up for me lately. I think it's just...frustration.

Today for example...I went and had maintenance on my dreadlocks and it was 2 pm and I was driving home. I hadn't eaten since 7 am, and I literally spent an hour and a half arguing with myself over whether I was going to stop and get something to eat, or whether I would just grab a snack out of my cupboard when I got home. I even said to myself out loud, "you've had this conversation with yourself for over an hour...enough." Even simple decision making, isn't simple at the moment.

My thoughts are sticky and repetitive.

I was like "what? hang on...a virtual what now?" But I could do a virtual reading...if I had the courage to do it and reassurance that it wouldn't create offence or feelings of disrespect for others. I recognise that not everyone agrees with things like tarot and some people have strong beliefs around it. I don't want to be an issue.

My muscles are still sore. As much as I hate massage, I was thinking about giving it another shot to see if it would help.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow @tyme are you there please?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

We are here! Are you doing okay? @NightFury 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

No @AuntGlow

Someone just came into my house and stolen my house and car keys off the bench. I was in the loungeroom and wouldn't have known if Luna hadn't reacted.

I've called the police, but I'm scared.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh my goodness! @NightFury

This is so so scary.

You have done the right thing by calling the police.

Have they given you any information or a timeline as to when they will get to you?

Thank God for Luna. You are safe now, okay?

Is there anyone you can call? Can someone come and be with you tonight? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I called a friend and they came to sit with me until the Police came. My Dad is here now.

The Police know who it was. We're contacting a lock smith to come and change the locks.

I'm safe...I'm just scared.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh no! @NightFury

I've got shivers down. my spine!

Can you stay with someone tonight? What do the police suggest?

I"m so sorry to hear this. I know first hand what it is like.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The Police are concerned @tyme because they took my house keys and my car keys.

I have to get a lock smith to change my locks and get into my car. They suggested I get my car out and away, so they can't take it. Because the police man said they will come back and take it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Feeling scared is 100% completely valid. I am so happy to know you aren't alone and you have your dad with you. It would have been really nice to have a friend with you too. @NightFury

It's very reassuring to know that the police know who they were. I hope they are able to arrest them as soon as possible. I understand this is very scary for you, so know that we will be here for you, okay? Also please remember that you can call a support line if you are feeling afraid throughout the night.

Give Luna big cuddles as well.

I am so sorry this has happened. People who do this have no idea the kind of fear they are creating, you don't deserve this at all. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah careful moving the car though because if no cars at your house they will think nobody is home
Happened to me when I lived in Melb they broke and took the car days later
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