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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury

I hear you when you say you're not in a good space atm - that sounds really tough 🙁. And it makes sense that you stopped at one sentence especially as it stirred up some big emotions 💕 - I hope you were able to regain some calm and get some rest 😴

Take Care

TunedIn🎶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow @tyme my Grandad had a fall in the early hours of this morning. He's in hospital waiting for results from scans. They've ruled out broken ribs, but he may have some internal injuries.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh dear. I'm so sorry to hear this. How are you holding up?

I know you've been talking about him really being not very well at all.

Did you go to work today? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah @tyme I went to work. I didn't find out until later in the morning - my Mum messaged the family chat while I was at work and told us.

Me? I don't know how I'm holding up. I feel kinda numb, but also absolutely exhausted and have a sense of heaviness.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Do you have any self-regulation strategies you can focus on to help you work through some of these challenges?

I wonder if you can make use of that counselling program to work through this? @NightFury

Sitting with you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I decided not to do the program @tyme

I have strategies, and distractions and things I can do and I do use them, to help keep me regulated or to regulate, on a daily basis.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Please know that while you can try these strategies, it IS okay to reach out.

Do you have access to EAP?

I've found EAP super helpful in the past @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

We do have EAP @tyme

I haven't used them yet, but we do have access.

I also have an appointment with a new psychologist on Wednesday after work.

Don't worry about me.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I dont' think I'm 'worried' so much, but I just know how hard you have been working on your recovery so it's important that you get the help you deserve.

When I used EAP before, it was for one situation. They paired me up with someone to help me with the need. Then I got 3 appointments for that one situation and I applied for more just in case I needed them, but I didn't.

It was really really helpful.

It doesn't have to be about work. @NightFury Just know that you can access it if you need it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm still working on it. It's just...hard. @tyme

I do want/need some help/support. Please, don't think that I don't. It just needs to be right for me.

I take a look EAP tomorrow, add it to my things to do list.

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