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Hi all I'm just not having a very happy time at the moment, my partner, of nearly 12 years, has major depression. He hasn't worked for over 5 years doesn't do much other than slp watch tv and over the past few months, become very critical calling me stupid bitch saying things like I think you have gone abit stupid over the past few years , I have backed away a little and am ready to pack up and leave, prob there is I am loyal big I don't have to put up with tht nothing I do is good enough he won't go speak to a phycologist and he needs to ime at my wits end spend most of my days by myself because he stays awake all night then alps the day away crying a lot about this is it bad to say that o need a break x🕉☯️☮️💜
I am hearing that you are feeling tired and alone. You are with friends here, we are all to familiar with these uncomfortable emotions.
Can I share a couple of things that have helped me personally?
1. Getting support through Carers Australia and Wellways. Carers Aust provided counseling and Wellways a care workers who visits me in my home. This forum is a great spot too to get understanding and help. (They also have workers for patients, if your partner is amenable).
2. Understanding the condition and its treatment. Ensuring I have an active role in his treatment plan, that he has regular psychiatrist appointments and adheres to his treatment plan are boundaries I have set.
3. I started to get some self care happening. After a major crisis I am not quite back into my garden but am able to do some things for myself that help refuel the tank to keep me going.
It is difficult and frustrating when we see there are things our loved ones could be doing that could help themselves but they don't do them.
As you get supports in place and have some self care happening you might feel strong enough to set some boundaries. These are relationship rules that help protect our hearts and enable us to keep supporting the ones we love.
Darcy
In response to: Re: Struggleing
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Struggleing
We all need breaks some times @hippyjingle67
sounds like he is down on himself and then spreading it out onto you .. you should have tp put up with those comments tho
Dont forget to ook after you ..
In response to: Struggleing
hippyjingle67Contributor
Re: Struggleing
Thank you so much for the advice Stacy, I really appreciate it 🕉☮️☯️💜
In response to: Struggleing
hippyjingle67Contributor
Re: Struggleing
Thanx apple blossom I appreciate Ye thoughts 💜☮️🕉☯️
In response to: Struggleing
hippyjingle67Contributor
Re: Struggleing
I am trying to get back into my arts/crafts and kp busy with other stuff, however I really would like to b doing stuff together not by myself so instead I sit at home isolating myself. I find myself ignoring him a lot wen he jabbers on about stuff I don't know if I care anymore. I know tht I love him but I deserve to b treated with respect too I really want tht for myself I don't want to feel like he really thinks that ime dumb coz thts wat ime thinking and feeling 💜☮️🕉☯️
In response to: Re: Struggleing
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Struggleing
@hippyjingle67 Doing some things for you and not letting his mindset cause you to isolate yourself seem the top priorities to me, along with maintaining your right to respect.
Doing things together is a great ideal for a relationship but in the meantime focus on the things you can change and have control over, your own life.
In response to: Struggleing
hippyjingle67Contributor
Re: Struggleing
Thank you tht makes complete sense 💜☮️🕉☯️
In response to: Struggleing
hippyjingle67Contributor
Re: Struggleing
I dont feel he does that on purpose though project things onto me, his depression doesn't allow him to think of hurting ppl wen he is in the moment, it's afterwards wen I say something to him about how he speaks and away he says to me, tht he acknowledges it and apologises 💜🕉☮️☯️
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