I didn't serve but my family members service shaped my life

@RiverSeal

My husband served in the Air Force and then worked for them as a civilian afterwards.

We spent many months apart from each other, but were lucky he was mostly based in Australia. He did spend some time in Malaysia.

Very different back then when the only way of communicating was by phone or letter.

I also remember sitting on my grandfathers lap with him talking about his service and how important it is to thank those people that fought for our country. Something I have tried to continue with my children.

Both my father (before I was born) and both my grandfathers served.

Thanks for sharing @Snowie, and it must have been challenging being apart from your husband for months at a time. As dad had left the Navy by the time I was born, we did not experience him being away.

It's hard to imagine not having phones and email now that everything is instant, but I remember those times too. How things have changed!!

Thanks again

RiverSeal

@RiverSeal @Snowie my father was in the Navy in WWII, so before I was born. I did enjoy him taking me a few times to Garden Island and showing me all around. I was also grateful to Legacy, cos we had free dentistry and I had holidays on a dairy farm under the soldier settlement scheme. He didn't talk that much about it but one of my last memories before he died was him talking to the other defence force fellows at Heidelberg Repat.

HI

Im Stout, and Im back.

Open to any questions, some short posts, and then ????

Hey @Stout, thanks for posting an update!

I'm curious what is your experience with the ADF? Maybe you served or have a family member who did. We love to hear about your experiences!

There are some threads that you can post in to support the community further if you would like:

Veterans:

https://saneforums.org/t5/Shoulder-to-Shoulder-Veterans/What-do-you-need-from-this-forum-Let-us-know...

https://saneforums.org/t5/Shoulder-to-Shoulder-Veterans/START-HERE-Welcome/td-p/1646537

Veterans Famillies:

https://saneforums.org/t5/Shoulder-to-Shoulder-Veteran/What-do-you-need-from-this-forum-Let-us-know-...

https://saneforums.org/t5/Shoulder-to-Shoulder-Veteran/Welcome-to-the-Shoulder-to-Shoulder-Veteran-F...

Take care

RiverSeal

@RiverSeal , @Stout , @Appleblossom , @Snowie

my grandfather was in the navy for WW11

he did not talk much about when he was at war

My cousin followed in his footsteps, and she went to the navy

she has just retired

Hi.

This is my first post.

I'm really happy to have stumbled upon this site.

I have Ummmm'd and Aaaahh'd for a long time about reaching out to Open Arms as a daughter of a Veteran.

My Father was in the Army for 20 years. He was in Intelligence. I joke saying "my Father was a map reader" while I frequently get us lost on road trips.

He didn't have to go away to fight in any wars but he was away many times throughout the years with the Army.

The knowledge I have about my Dad serving and his role in the Army is all from a child's/young teen's perspective. I have asked him questions over the years about his time in service but I was never told the whole story.

Dad was pretty secretive and I know there are things I'm not supposed to know and things i never talk about because no- one is supposed to know.... I have always proudly been his Eldest daughter. I loved going to work with him. The Army barracks were a beautiful place to walk through. I loved seeing him in his uniform especially his camouflage and most definitely in his fancy uniform - black pants with a red stripe down the side and white jacket. Handsome.

He would bring us home some of his ration packs from his weeks away, and always lost his voice from being a drill Sergeant.

Dad and Mum separated when I was 10 years old. He had fallen in love with someone else. He told me and I told Mum.... That was a horrible day. Mum piled us into the car to confront him, and my siblings yelled at me saying it was my fault Mum and Dad were breaking up.

It was never a good marriage anyway. Dad wasn't nice to Mum and Mum was too nice to him.

Later on in my life I questioned why the Army didn't support my Mum more. Why didn't they tell Dad to not hurt her? Why didn't they tell Dad off for meeting someone else? A good friend told me "The Army was different back then. A soldiers family weren't their business. If the Army wanted you to have a Wife and family they would have issued you with one."

I hope things have changed.

40 years later, Dad is still with his lady he fell in love with. It wasn't until I turned 40 that I found peace in Dad leaving us. He is happy but I miss him. I needed him as I grew up. I needed his advice, I needed protecting and I needed his attention.

Anyhoo..... sorry for waffling on.

Take care... till next time.

MycatsMum. 🙂

Hey @MycatsMum 🐈

A warm welcome and thanks for sharing your experiences with the community! Its great to see you posting here for some support from the community here on Sane. ✨

Sounds like your experience with your Dad and the Army throughout your life has been pretty impactful, from feeling so proud of your Dad and going to work with him to wondering why the Army didn’t do more when things were painful and disorienting with your parents splitting. Even though you were all kids, it also sounds like having your siblings blame you might have been pretty painful.

It can be hard seeing someone we love struggle or to be a support while knowing a family member can’t share some things with us because of their work, or to have them gone for periods of time (whether that is in wars or otherwise).

It takes courage to share your experiences with the community, and you are being really brave reaching out to your peers.  I can hear that it’s been a bit of a toss up for you on whether to reach out to Open Arms, and that choice is completely up to you whether you feel you want to access that support or if you need it. But it sounds like that is a resource there for you to access if you want to and if you have some things that would be helpful to discuss, that are on your mind and you want support working through them, or that are still impacting you – it can be important to talk about those things. It might be some cliché advice but perhaps a pros and cons of reaching out or not could be helpful here?

I'm sure that the community will have some insights to share with you soon!

Take care 🍁