Physical flashbacks & worthlessness

Hi @Former-Member,

i agree with @Former-Member & @Zoe7, you do deserve to be looked after and are worthy of love and support. I understand that this is much easier said then done and that reading this wont change those feelings of worthlessness, however the fact that there are people around you that do want to love and care for you shows you that they believe you are worthy. Sometimes it takes some time and work for our minds to catch up with this.

You certainly deserve to feel better as well! It sounds like you were having a tough night. How are you feeling now that you have been able to sleep on it? Did you manage to wake up with a clearer mind?

Hope you've been doing better the last few days

Hi @Former-Member, glad to hear you are being looked after.

Completely understandable that you are feeling exhausted after answering questions all day! It's great that the people there are lovely and hopefully you can get some rest tonight after a long and exhausting day.

Good morning @Former-Member @Former-Member @Zoe7

Sorry for not coming back to you earlier. I hope you are all doing ok.

I am back from my short stay in hospital and I do feel better and I had an extremly positive experience in hospital and learnt heaps. I really tried to go in with an open attitude and keeping my friends words in mind "don't isolate yourself in your room". I have done a bit of that and I think I needed that too. But I have also had many good experiences and met a variety of people in a very short time.

I understand and accept that my healing will take years and I have in no way eliminated the feeling of worthlessness, but I have learnt new techniques and they are also linked to self validation and most importantly I have hope again.

I had SH thoughts in the clinic, but no SC thoughts and that was a big relieve for me. I also think I understand better where my SC thoughts come from and will try to implement some daily self-care to try and prevent these thoughts from popping up.

SH has become part of a long list of unhelpful coping strategies and I guess the key is to be able to step back before using any of my coping strategies and actually figure out, what I have to cope with.

It has only been a step in a long journey, but a step in the right direction.

@Former-Member I am so glad that you are feeling better and that hospital was a positive experience for you

Hope is a wonderful thing to be feeling - I have also seen glimpses of this over the last couple of days myself.

A few nights ago I had one of the worst nights I have had for a very long time. The nightmares and flashbacks were so intense that every single part of me was in pain. I couldn't breathe and couldn't move - it was really a horrible time. It did make it extrememly difficult for the next two days to even think about sleeping again - especially at night- but I chose to sleep when I could and not to put any pressure on myself to think about why I didn't want to sleep. It hasn't been easy and I still have a long, long road ahead to face and defeat my fears but I am also trying to take care of myself in the process. I didn't think a few weeks ago that I would be saying that.

So I understand that the journey is a long one - and that with every little step we take forward there is hope - there will inevitably be some larger steps back as well but just being able to see a little bit of light to move towards is encouragement enough at the moment to keep going.

Here to follow the journey with you if you need a travel buddy

Zoe