Just wanna switch off the negative monologue in my head

Hey @Messsedup ,

I hear how stressful life is for you - life in general. I can see that you are doing your best to establish a future for you and your children, and to better yourself.

Are you able to note down what went well with each workplace and what didn't go so well? This may help you with finding a more suitable job?

The fact that you have secured so many jobs shows that you have skills that are highly sought after. This might be a starting point to find YOUR job. A job that is for you. Sometimes it takes a bit of trial and error, but I feel it's important to find a role that you feel satisfied with (that is, there is a balance of challenges and things you feel comfortable doing).

Sitting with you. Please look after yourself and we look forward to hearing from you.

I'm sorry you're going through this, you're not alone, there are many that have been where you are and have made it through. Toxic work environments are what led to me to my present situation.

TW: Suicide Attempt

Don't lose hope, don't look at everything as a whole, break it down into smaller aspects / pieces. Then focus on what you can change and if you can't change something adjust your perspective on it. We can't control everything that happens in life, but we can control how we deal with it and how we see it, yes it's hard at first, but with practice it gets easier.

It's a vicious circle, work and slip ups causing stress and sleep issues, then the sleep issues affecting your performance, patience and concentration. It's hard not holding onto the emotions when you've had a mishap at work.

Please remember to make some time for yourself, to fill your cup so to speak, you spend your day filling everyone else's cups from your own and the problem with that is, you can't pour from an empty cup.

Our brains can be so cruel to us, especially if we are feeling the slightest bit of joy or there's no drama or crises, they know all our weaknesses, all our faults and when our guard is down, boom, here's an traumatic memory and the emotions to go with it. Try to sit with the memory, process it, asking why I'm feeling that, what good can come of it, reassuring myself that this is relevant or isn't the case now, that was then, let the thought and feeling go (again this takes practice).

Remember all those times that you thought you wouldn't survive, that you wouldn't succeed? well here you are today, you survived them and with that same strength and determination you will survive more.

Try to find the good parts of every workplace and focus on that to get thru until the next job has been lined up, you will find a good job, you're not alone, don't be afraid to reach out, don't be embarrassed with life and where you are in life, you are trying and doing your best with what you have at this time.

Hey @Former-Member , thank you for sharing your lived experience above. That was so brave of you and I really appreciated your response.

@Messsedup , feel free to have a look at @Former-Member 's response to your thread above.

Hello @Messsedup

I wanted to say: I’m sitting with you too.

I’m sorry to read you're having such a tough time.

You are managing a whole lot, so it makes sense that you’re having these really heavy feelings.

The world expects us to do it all, but no one can. So I know it’s hard, but please take some space to be kind to you. Even if that feels like too much, maybe just five minutes of stillness.

I’m not sure if I helps, but please know you’re not alone and people care for you.

I am walking through the same stuff at work and not sure how I’ll get through.

One thing that’s helped, is that I have one really trusted colleague who is able to say to me “ok, log off now” or make me book leave. It can be hard to reveal yourself at work, but if you could get some supports, and you don’t even need to say why -it’s proximal leave, find some time to take a break, see you GP and use that sick leave if you can.

Lots of people here, sitting with you and sending our best to you.

You deserve peace and healing. With you here and please take care.