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What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

JlolSenior Contributor15 Apr 2025, 11:42 am AEST

What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

I'm sure most readers will know what I mean.

The loop: reach out for mental health help, be told that your issues are too severe and to try someone else, reach out for mental health help, be told that your issues are too severe and to try someone else, reach out for mental health help, be told that your issues are too severe and to try someone else, and so on, and so on.

All the while spending hundreds, if not thousands of dollars, or course.

Anyone have any idea what the solution to this might be?

8 replies

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In response to: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

rav3nSenior Contributor15 Apr 2025, 4:30 pm AEST

Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

hey @Jlol being told you're issues are 'too severe' absolutely sucks. i personally don't have an answer to your question, all i know is that issues that are too 'complex' and 'severe' still deserve support. i do think it's a great question to ask and i'm keen to hear people's thoughts around it.

In response to: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

Ru-beeModerator15 Apr 2025, 4:34 pm AEST

Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

Hey @Jlol, I just wanted to stop by because while I may not have a solution for this, I do know that many others are facing the same issue. There seems to be serious gaps in the system where those with issues that are "too severe" fall through, as well as sometimes those who aren't quite severe enough. This is definitely a system failing, and not an individual one, and to me seems to signify a lack of training and funding going into supporting more complex cases.

I guess as an individual, other than lobbying for change, sometimes all you can do it to continue knocking on doors as you have been, and hope that the next one will be the right one

In response to: Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor15 Apr 2025, 5:37 pm AEST

Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

Hearing you @Jlol

I am unhappy with many current protocols in the MH system. The government Mindlessly throwing money at mental health without demanding better strategies…. Will be unlikely to help. They ought to get better suicide stats. They ought to demand more accountability. They need to be a bit more mindful maybe…yes, let’s advocate for those with COMPLEX situations.

In response to: Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor15 Apr 2025, 6:01 pm AEST

Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

@Jlol @Ru-bee @rav3n

I actually think it’s outrageous that it is common practice by psychologists that they charge people for rejecting them as too difficult. Shame on the APA. They don’t even have the ethics to do a free meet and greet or… free quote like a plumber. Then proceed like a health concerned human and make sure person does get adequate care. What happened to get paid when you deliver a service. That might be fair. All this rejection cos the job is too hard stinks.

I am speaking out a carer and not impressed by current practice. Yeah. I do all the right things and make it easy on my practitioners. I don’t care about myself so much, its my loved ones. Maybe I shouldn’t be so nice.

In response to: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

goatlatteContributor16 Apr 2025, 8:58 pm AEST

Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

I call it the "merry go round" myself.

You see several psychologists or social workers who tells you you are too complex and high needs: you contact the only people above that but because you're not actively a major threat to yourself or others, you get told to "google it" or "ring lifeline".

I think the first thing to do is recognise you are not to blame. The system is set up to promote specific ideas, with a specific amount of funding, and that is not sufficient for everyone. Like many of us here, we're all in the same boat, and it's not our fault things are the way they are. Your experience is perfectly normal and generic!

The next thing to do, as "fluffy" as it sounds, is awareness raising. Make it known to other people you feel comfortable talking about mental health with that "the loop" exists, because outside those of us who have experienced the extreme flaws in the mental healthcare system, our immediate family and our friends, many people aren't aware of how bad things are and that things like this exist.

Outside of that, good luck. There's no reason not to keep trying, you might find someone eventually. It took me several years but I did!

In response to: Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

tymeModerator16 Apr 2025, 9:20 pm AEST

Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

Great points there @goatlatte . Thanks for sharing.

@Jlol , I'm hearing you. I can say I experienced something similar for a decade of my life. However, I wasn't told I was too severe and to go elsewhere. Instead, I was told to just go home or "go back to work". In my head, I was thinking, "What? Go home to die?" because that was what it sounded and felt like.

So yes, I jumped from person to person. I was in and out of hospital. Not one really said I was too complex, but you could see they didn't have any answers for me.

One private clinic flatly refused me a private admission because I was too 'high risk'.

Then, voila! After persevering, I was admitted into an outpatient clinic for targeted therapy, and things have gone onwards and upwards. It was a LONG treatment program and I had very intensive support + case management, but it all worked out well and life couldn't be better.

I really hope you find something that works.

Take care mate.

In response to: Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

JlolSenior Contributor28 Apr 2025, 11:26 am AEST

Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

Thanks @tyme,

Could you elaborate (within reason) about the targeted therapy? I've never heard of that before. How did you find it? How did you get in? How much did it cost? etc

In response to: Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

tymeModerator30 Apr 2025, 9:08 pm AEST

Re: What's the solution for getting out of "the loop"?

Hey @Jlol , I had 18 months of intensive mentalisation based therapy. It was a game changer. It was free of cost, and hence it is so hard to get into. I did it in Melbourne. It is not a very common therapy and probably due to the cost of providing the program. Each person has about 20 months of treatment which was twice weekly - both individual and group therapy. Group therapy was super hard, but this was where the real change happened.

I was skeptical of it at first, and even 2/3 of the way through the program, I didn't feel there was any change. But yes, about 6 months after the end of therapy, I saw so much change.

I cannot even explain how it works. It just worked for me.

It's not for everyone, but I just know it was a gamechanger for a broken brain like mine. I really wish you all the best.

TW: Death

Content/trigger warning

I honestly never thought I'd make it past my 26th birthday - as though I was destined to die. I came close to death so many times.

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