Life Not Lived

I understand this depressive phase is getting worse but the worthlessness is always there even when I’m not so low. The “not good enough” narrative is overwhelming. Everyday I hope to get struck by unsurvivable lightning.
Even in the abyss I wish I could do something to help our MH system to be better for people and I especially wish for the stigma of mental ill health to be gone.

So I managed to get up early and I felt ok doing activity.

I try to lift myself out of the depression and anxiety, physical activity works in short term, but it doesn’t seem to last.

I feel a bit of a fake whinging, really my life is not bad, I’m able to do exercise, I have somewhere to live and I can afford enough food.

I can’t seem to recover from cPTSD, depression and anxiety after all this time and many attempts trying to do things to help myself. @tyme

Just saying hello @Till23

Maybe it's something about CSA that makes us a bit similar, in our isolation and our interpersonal style. I could relate to most of what you posted in this thread. I also didn't want to bother people and very much wanted to hide under a rock. I guess sport can be like music and having to deal with a range of people and some big personalities. I am slowly learning to see that getting socially engaged means I have to stop withdrawing and find ways to deal with all many huge agitated feelings as I socialise. Some of the better social feeling s are coming my way recently, but it has been very slow....

@Bow @tyme

Hello and hugs 🫂 @Till23

How has your day been today my friend 🧡

I have soo much swimming in my head lately that all I want to do is play a word game on my phone all day

@Appleblossom , @tyme , @Bow

Hey @Shaz51 ,

At first, I read you did lots of swimming!

I hope you are okay.

Hi @tyme 😊

I think the biggest thing now to keep going with life until I go on dialysis

It's a good way to put it @Shaz51 . In a way, we all have our own 'things' we need to get on with even if we don't look forward to it.

You are a real inspiration and reminds us to be grateful for what we have.