Life Not Lived

Yikes @Till23 ! It sounds like you are talking about me!

You are DEFO not alone with it comes to being a little socially awkward or having the tendency to blow things up in your mind and then ruminating. I feel A LOT of people do it.

1) I am socially awkward. I not very good at socialising in real life. At school, I never had proper friends, but mainly because I didn't care. I preferred my own company. The only time I feel okay at a social event is when there are kids there and I can 'hide' behind kids. Even now, I wouldn't say I have friends friends - but I'm fine with that. If I get invited to something, I mostly don't go. If I do, I am sooo worn out and want to escape

2) What you have described was my natural pattern of thinking. I had to work very very hard with psychotherapy to change these patterns of thinking so I'd stop self-destructing. Even now, i have to do A LOT of self talk but i find it is a lot more natural now. This doesn't mean I don't have down periods, but it means I don't stay in them because I can utilise helpful self-talk to get myself out of them. Oh, and there are times when I have utilise external supports as well e.g. EAP, counselling, psychology.

So please don't think this is not normal. It seems that what you are experiencing is quite natural, and it's about developing the skills to move beyond the current way of thinking so that thinking patterns are more helpful

I can relate too.

Thanks @tyme

Sorry I haven't been very active in the social chat tonight, I can't find the humour. This is another thing that happens I become serious and find it hard too find the humour in anything.

I worry because I don't want my deficiencies or MH to affect other people.

I have always found interactions difficult, but it seems to affect me more as I get older, which kind of seems like the wrong way around. I want to escape from the CSA and effects of that, but somehow it seems to be affecting me more.

Many times I am able to be rational about these interactions, but sometimes they just send me down a hole, which is the current situation.

Thanks for listening

Thank you for sharing @Till23 . It sounds so tough to be sitting with these thoughts.

At the same time, what can you do now to give yourself some space between the thoughts and the emotions that come up?

Have you every used the Smiling Mind app? I find that helps me make that space.

Another very helpful acitivity is I close my eyes and 'watch' a calender flipping backwards from 31. I do this slowly and pay attention to the page flipping over with every number.

I wonder if this will get you through tonight?

Then, by all means, re-evaluate tomorrow morning.

Why I'm saying this is because our brains are geared to see the negative in the evenings. This is well known and part of evolutionary traits to keep us alive.

I'm exactly the same @Till23. I don't know how to offer you help as I feel hated by everyone, even on these forums. I just hide and live in my own little world.

You've been going through a lot lately and I seem to remember you had to go for a PET scan. That's enough to leave you feeling a bit wobbly.

I hope you feel better soon. It's exhausting isn't it?

Hugs. 😊

Thanks @tyme now I have got over my initial reaction, I have settled into a less ridiculously extreme state. I have space between the incident and my response.

I have connected with nature by going outside and feeling the grass with my bare feet and looking at the stars, patting my dog.

I know that things can seem worse at night.

I hope I don't ruminate too much so I can get to sleep. I have done a fair bit of physical activity today so that should help.

Thank you

Hugs @Till23 ,

Thank you for the reminder about getting out in nature. It can be so grounding.

Rest up. All the best with your sport!

I won't be on until mid-week, so I'll see you then.

Please look after yourself and be kind to yourself.

Thanks @Former-Member

I've always found your posts on here very supportive and lovely to others on the forums.

I don't believe that people on here "hate" you or if anyone actually "hates" you.

I understand that everyone doesn't see everything the same way. That would actually make for a pretty boring existence. But not having the same opinion is not the same as disliking someone.

I hope I feel better soon too. I do find it uses up a lot of energy trying to navigate this world

I hope you are able to expand your world, if that's what you'd really like to do.

Thanks @tyme look after yourself too. You've had a lot on lately. I'll see you later in the week

Good night my dear @Till23 .

Nothing is too much to be on the forums.

I am very appreciative of my forums family - including you.