MarzeySenior Contributor
Trigger warning ⚠️ ... Manipulated into sex.
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
ATM I'm trying very hard to support my best friend who's been going through something serious and frightening since back in December and it's still ongoing.
She was ok there for a bit but now after taking to a couple of different professionals -Psychologists, Psychiatrists and a Sex specialist.
All three have told her to go to the police and report this as they claim this was definitely sexual assault given she didn't consent to do anything sexual or intimate. They all read the messages before and after the night, and all agree this needs to be passed into the police station.They said he's manipulated her and definitely coerced her into doing things she wasn't comfortable at all doing
I've read every message between them.One message that stood out to me was when he said that he went there because he felt he needed comforting!! (After saying to her on that night that he's going so he comfort her)
From this guy pushing to see her that night even though her son was very unwell in hospital and she was also having relationship problems with her long term boyfriend. But nothing she could say was going to deter this man from driving two hours to be there to support her...all she wanted to do was get some sleep as she'd been awake three nights and wasn't able to think straight.
I'm not going into the personal details, but he asked her to sit closer to him so he could comfort her and after a while said "I better not say what I want to do to you right now as you've got a boyfriend but I really really wanna kiss you. I have for so long"..."I want to kiss your lips, please let me I'll be gentle". Then he did just that and a lot more.
That's how it all started. She kept telling him she loved someone else and she just needed rest because she was exhausted and not capable of thinking and making good decisions. But he persistently pushed and pushed, she gave in due to fear, thinking maybe if he does this then he'll leave me alone. He even said he'd back off from her after this and leave her alone.
The next morning he left all happy claiming their new relationship will be amazing.
Then she called me in tears saying "something awful had happened. A male friend came over to comfort me, but all he did was push me and manipulate me into sex. I felt I had no option and felt coerced. I don't find him attractive at all nor did I feel like doing anything other than having a drink and getting some decent sleep.
In the days and weeks that followed this event he's bombarded her with messages of his feelings for, that he needs to cuddle her, messages would start at around 5:50am through to 10:45pm. Sometimes they'd start as early as 4:10am and he'd write every half an hour until she was finally awake to reply back. If she stopped replying his messages would have a desperate tone to them and he'd keep writing, usually either trying to gas light her or guilt trip her.
She received letters from his close family members warning her to be very careful as he stalks anyone he's obsessed with at the time. He still lives with his parents and is in his 50's, so his family are aware of his obsessions.
Everytime my bestie tried to pull back and say sorry I'm with someone else remember, or sorry I'm not interested in any kind of relationship with you....he'd just go on as though he'd be er read it, or he'd guilt trip her.
She thought about cutting contact and ghosting him, but felt that'd make it worse.
He's lied to her but she got the truth out of him, he's lied by posting things online about her that aren't true. He thinks of he doesn't mention her name she shouldn't be upset.
It causes her great anxiety seeing things posted about her not true.
His own family say he falls in love and becomes obsessed with any woman kind enough to him in group/chat/forum situations.
This has been going on since early December and she's had enough!
I am taking her to the local Police Stn this afternoon for a chat about her options and given the circumstances around the night he pushed to visit...can be be charged with manipulated sex or coerced sex.
It's not right what she's been through. Even in the months since that night he's been so obsessed with her that I moved down with all my competition horses to be with so we could prevent anything further happening.
He is someone though who can't seem to understand how his actions make others feel.
There are 12 other women out there he became obsessed with in a group chat all because they said hello or politely engaged with him.
Her main motivation to going to the Police is to stop him doing this to other women.
It's not just that night...it's all the gathering of info on the lady he's attracted to then afterwards it's the terrifying stalking of her too. He wants a relationship with her and cannot understand why she's not interested.
It's a sad world when someone does something so awful to a woman, who's just trying to help him in a group chat. Be careful ladies, very careful.
This man knew everything about her.
Let's hope this afternoon puts an end to this hell.
