I just want to end it all. I just want to end me.

I'm trapped in an emotional and psychologically abusive family household. It's the reason I'm so severely fucked up; turns out all my childhood trauma of being blamed and neglected was amplified by my recent diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. But my family , my father especially, firmly believes that I'm lying to cover my "laziness".

I've grown up socially outcast, with zero social or structural support. I can't maintain any interpersonal relationships because of unresolved childhood traumas seeping into my severely dysfunctional adult life.

I have no income so I cannot move out. I have barely any savings. I cannot get any good paying job as I'm stuck as an undergrad. Tertiary education has been nothing but traumatic and I have nothing but PTSD and debt from my many unsuccessful attempts.

I am trapped in this existence that I never wanted to have. I've been suicidal since I was in primary school.

I just need to end myself. The human experience is excruciating and I see nothing getting any better or changing in way.