Support

@JennyK1 hey and welcome to the forums!!

Just letting you know I have edited your post, just to remove your real name, in line with our Anonymity Guideline.

Wow, late BPD diagnosis, that's heavy. I hope that having this knowledge helps you and your family in navigating everything though. Diagnosis can be quite the mixed bag - tough to recieve, but with hopes of better treatment options/outcomes.

I will tag the amazing @BPDSurvivor who might have some tips for communication and stuff!

Hope you find what you're looking for in the community 😉💜

Hi @JennyK1 and welcome

I support my wife (25 years) who lives with BPD, I was recommended the book Stop Walking on Eggshells a long time ago. This may help.

The biggest thing that made a difference for us that took a lot of encouragement and cohesion from a counsellor to get me convinced was boundaries. Consistent responses creates an environment of security. I struggle with that still because I want to keep the peace but it does help.

Hi @JennyK1,

Thank you for sharing with us and welcome to the Forum. I'm sorry to see how many worries you've been having to deal with.

What type of supports would you be interested in for yourself and your husband?

If you are interested in counselling, I highly recommend Relationships Australia, who provide affordable services.

And here are some resources and supports that I've found that may be of some use to you or others in a similar situation:

• https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/facts-and-guides/bipolar-disorder#factsheet
• https://bipolarcaregivers.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/guide-for-caregivers.pdf
• https://www.bipolaraustralia.org.au/services-directory
• https://supportgroup.mhfa.org.au/bipolar-carers-support-group

You could also try calling SANE's Support Line on 1800 187 263 to see how they may be able to assist you and your husband.

I hope that you can find the support you both need.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Hi @JennyK1 ,

this post was a while ago, i hope everything is ok.

I support my husband who has BPD, we have been married for 16 years.

I also recently had to take financial control of our household as he had been using our joint account as a personal spending account.

I took over eveyrthing over a year ago and have managed to save and turn things around. It took me a while to work it out, but I realised that he had been finding the responsibilities of the accounts quite difficult and was happy when i took over and when we put some boundaries over his access.

i'm not sure if any of this will help, but i thought I would share.

I hope you are doing well with everything as I understand what a 'ruggard' 3 years might look like.

Thank you for sharing your insights @BrightMoon24 . I'm hopeful that your experiences will be helpful for @JennyK1 .

I have BPD, and I know first hand how hard it is to live with, let alone being the carer of someone with BPD.

I look forward to hearing from you both to see where things are at.

The idea of setting boundaries (financial, relationships, emotional wellbeing) sounds like a common theme here.